A Home to Return To(Bleach Fanfiction)
by JustAnotherAnimeLuvinAnon
Summary: Ayame Ikeda was nothing more than an unlucky child born into the roughest district in the Rukongai: district 81. Afters years of a hard life mastering the ways of the streets, she finds she possesses an unusual strength that the Seireitei can put to use. At one cost: she has to leave behind those she loves the most. (Full summary found at start of chapter 1)
1. Prologue Part 1

**Full Summary: **Ayame Ikeda was nothing more than an unlucky child born into the roughest district in the Rukongai: district 81. Afters years of a hard life mastering the ways of the streets, she finds she possesses an unusual strength that the law-abiding members of the Seireitei can put to use. At one cost: she has to leave behind those she loves the most. She is torn when a gentle, white-haired man offers her a new life as a soul reaper, but decides to go with a promise that she'd come back and fix district 81.

When a catastrophic event occurs that causes Central 46 to order the destruction of district 81, however, Ayame cannot stand by it. But what are the consequences of her rebellion? What happens when she cannot save her beloved home? What will her white-haired savior do when he cannot stand by the woman he holds dearest? Read and find out!

**Prologue Part 1**

A light wind washes through the peaceful grounds of the Seireitei. The sun is at its peak, revealing the time of day: noon. The joyful and carefree voices of soul reapers in the comfort of their home - not away on some dangerous mission - begin to fill the air as they make their way outside to enjoy their meals. It was highly unlikely that anyone could restrain themselves from the delight of such a beautiful day. Ayame was no exception.

In fact, she had already been sitting, or laying, rather, in a patch of cool grass that occupied the skirts of the Seireitei, eyes fixed on the clouds sluggishly making their way across an impossibly blue sky. Honestly, she felt she could stay there forever. The feeling of not being burdened by tasks and orders was indescribable. Pure bliss. Sighing, she settles further into place and lets her eyes droop.

"Captain! Captain Ikeda! Where are you?! Captain! Please don't tell me you've left us! Captain...!"

_What could this loser possibly want at this time? _Ayame thought to herself. The voice of her high-strung lieutenant was like a hot knife cutting through the peaceful air, a thorn peircing through her bubble of serenity. Not bothering to open her eyes, she responds with a grunt. The flustered lieutenant's head snaps in the direction of the sound. He takes in her sprawled out figure with alarm.

"Oh no! The Captain has collapsed! Don't die Captain, please! Speak to meeeee!" He, somehow, screams louder as he rushes to Ayame and shakes her roughly.

This time Ayame decides to actually expend some energy and use words to reprimand her subordinate.

" Lieutenant Riku. Get the HELL off of me! Can't you see that I was just taking a nap?!" She yells while shoving him roughly away. _Jeez, what's this guy's deal? This happens like once every week!_

Yawning loudly, Ayame sits up and, while stretching her stiff and unused limbs, turns her body to face her frantic subordinate. She appreciated his concern, even found it endearing at times. Mostly, however, he annoyed the hell out of her.

Shame fills the lieutenant's features as he realizes, yet again, that he had acted out of line towards his superior. Words couldn't describe his respect and admiration for the woman before him. It was because of her inspiration that he worked hard and became a soul reaper. He never imagined that he'd gain the skills and prestige to have the honor of being her closest subordinate. Riku quickly puts himself in the position of a bow and apologizes passionately.

"I apologize, Captain Ikeda! I acted out of li-"

"Stop it, lieutenant," Ayame sighs and looks at him thoughtfully. "Your concern, though unnecessary,is much appreciated." She laughs to herself a bit. "So, what brings you here? You seemed as if you were in a rush to find me."

Riku lifts his head and looks her in the eyes. His expression from before, his entire demeanor, totally changes. For a reason unknown to Ayame, the change inspires fear in her. Riku's mouth opens slightly and then closes, as if he is unable to bear the weight of the news he is about to deliver.

"C-Captain..." He starts. His reluctance is beyond evident, but finally he regains his resolve. " Actually, captain, I shouldn't be the one to tell you this. In fact, I'm not even supposed to know it...they've been keeping it from me. From us. It's about...district 81." Once the lieutenant finishes speaking, he bows his head once again, not wanting to witness the anguished look that always fills his superior's eyes at the mention of her old home.

A stab of pain briefly seizes Ayame, but, as she had been doing for many years, she is quickly able to recuperate and focus back on the situation at hand.

"Lieutenant, lift your head. I am your superior, I do not require your pity." She says, putting on the hard, emotionless mask she'd mastered after years of practice to shield the feelings in her heart. "Continue."

"Yes Captain. I apologize." Again, he hesitates to deliver the news. "While I do not know the details of it, recently there have been some...events there. Strange ones...unspeakable ones. Squad 12 has been reporting for months that the amount of reishi in that area of the soul society has been increasing, but as far as appearances go the area is unchanged. They cannot explain it. They fear that it could upset the balance of the soul society...They had been working on a more...humane means of dealing with the situation, but this week the reishi levels sky rocketed. And it's starting to affect the surrounding districts."

Ayame didn't know what to make of this story. It certainly was alarming...but she couldn't understand why her lieutenant was being so grave about it. It would be tough but that's what the Gotei 13 is for. We'll receive the proper orders and handle the situation, like we always do. Then district 81 can continue existing...and hopefully..._they _\- Ayame couldn't even bring herself to think their names - could continue living in peace as well.

But then her lieutenant's words finally sink in: ._..they_ had_ been working on a more _humane_ means of dealing with the situation..  
_

Struggling to maintain her composure, she demands, "Lieutenant, what exactly is it that you mean by they _had_ been working on a more _humane_ means of dealing with this situation? And give it to me straight, no sugarcoating."

She braces herself for his answer.

"Captain," He straightens his body and looks her dead in the eye. "They have ordered all the captains to report immediately to head captain Yamamoto to discuss...the swiftest means of eliminating district 81."

_...eliminating district 81..._

**_...eliminating district 81..._**

"Thank you lieutenant. You have done your job well. I expect the meeting's location is as usual?" The tone of Ayame's voice is unusual. She can hear herself speaking, but her words are not her own. They do nothing to convey the outrage inside her. Instead they are cool and even. Almost dead-sounding.

"Ye-"

The lieutenant does not even finish his words before his captain's exceptional flash-step abilities allow her to disappear in a whirl of wind and residual spiritual energy. He feels her presence disappear in less than a second, but not before he senses how incredible her spiritual pressure is, and how it is laced with intense anger and distress.

In mere seconds Ayame appears before the wooden doors that conceal the meeting room of the thirteen captains. Though she had not held this position for long, she knew these doors and their location like the backs of her hands. She'd spent years idolizing soul reapers. The higher their rank, the greater the awe they inspired in her. She put their words and actions in the highest regards. When she finally became one, her rough life in district 81 became worth something. The knowledge of battle and survival she gained in the violent streets became valuable.

She thought her life would end in district 81, but she was saved by a soul reaper. Her world was changed. She was able to become something...someone. Someone capable of returning back to district 81 to save those who were the same as her. To save those...that she left behind. This was going to be possible because of what soul reapers had done for her.

But today, they were making the wrong call. Ayame did not think it possible for soul reapers to make mistakes, but they had. And she was going to stop them, no matter what it took.

She bursts open the doors and rushes in, causing all the captains to break their focus from head captain Yamamoto and instead let it fall on her. She takes them all in with a long, sweeping look. For a moment her resolve wavers. She looks at the powerful beings that were for so long nothing more than a distant dream. How dare she defy them...they had made her...

But then her hands fall on the sturdy silk of her own haori and she remembers that she is now their equal. She had every right to be there, and every right to speak her mind. It seems that as her resolve settles the shock of her entrance also recedes and the remaining captains stir to life.

"Captain Ikeda, what is the meaning of such a barbaric entrance? I expect you understand our position, yes? We cannot afford such disruptive behavior. In this time of crisis, efficiency is key. Please sit." The authority in the elder captain's voice is hard to ignore, but Ayame was decided.

"I apologize head captain, but I cannot do that. I did not come here to sit and wait for orders that I do not agree with! What is the meaning of this ridiculous notion that we destroy the entire district 81?!" She had tried to remain composed, but desperately failed. Anyone within a hundred-foot radius could hear the anger in her voice, and anyone within a few mile's radius could feel her intense spiritual pressure losing control.

"Calm yourself, child! I understand that your past clouds your judgment...it was foolish of me to think you'd quietly comply to these orders..."

"Indeed it was." She replies. "Surely there is an alternative? Is squad 12 this incompetent?!" She questions, glaring at squad 12's odd captain. Normally, to be quite honest, just looking at the strange man gave her chills, but today his image instilled anger. His squad was responsible for this ridiculous outcome...if he could just do his job right district 81 could continue existing...she could have more time to get back to _them_.

Captain Kurotsuchi's depth-less eyes shift to her. His face is indifferent, voice flat as he says, "Stupid woman, it is a matter of time, not my abilities. I could definitely fix this, but by the time I finish making the proper preparations the entire soul society would be covered in that awful reishi. The safest option is to destroy district 81 while the reishi can still be contained."

"Ayame," She feels the familiar, gentle touch of her favorite captain. She turns her head to meet two, warm green eyes and a cascade of long, snowy hair. "I understand why you are upset...we all do. But you must understand-"

"Ukitake...you too? You're on board with this?" It comes out as no more than a whisper. This man...the soul reaper she had the most faith in...the man that had saved her from the hell of district 81. Yes...district 81 was hell. But Ukitake _knew_ her story. He _knew_ what she left behind...and he _knew_ damn well what she one day swore to go back for. So how could he...?

It took everything he had to keep his voice from cracking. The image of such a normally bright and welcoming face contorted in pain...the betrayal reflected in those violet eyes...was enough to bring him to tears. It's not that Ukitake wouldn't describe himself as an emotional guy...he was quite open to expressing his feelings. However, the severity of the emotions he felt now were incomparable. This woman couldn't possibly know how important she was to him, how seeing her this way tore him up inside as well.

But this situation was not a negotiation. Ayame had not seen the things he'd witnessed...she had not been to district 81 for at least a year. The general reports to the lower level soul reapers were not entirely truthful...they excluded that fact that district 81 was, in fact, very different from what it once was. The reishi levels had altered the spiritual beings residing there...disfiguring their bodies into grotesque, monster-like creatures. What's worse, they appeared to be in pain. If they don't end it soon the entirety of the soul society could suffer from this terrible condition.

"Ayame I am so sorry...but there isn't any other way." Ukitake finally says firmly, praying that his feigned strength could somehow transfer to Ayame. Rather than responding like how he'd hoped, she tears herself away from him and charges towards head captain Yamamoto. Everyone watches in disbelief, incredulous that such a newbie captain would actually launch herself at the experienced and incredibly strong older man.

But Yamamoto was no fool. He knew the girl was upset, but not insane. She dare not attack him. He watched in cool indifference as the young woman rushes before him and immediately drops into a low bow.

"Head Captain...it goes against my pride to beg but...you must understand. District 81 is more than my home...it cannot be destroyed. It is a violent place filled with famine, death and despair...but somehow, by some miracle, there are innocent residing there. People who could not help where they were born, who wish for nothing more than to survive. We cannot simply treat them as irrelevant insects to be eliminated in conjunction with the real problem. Please...there must be another way. There _must _be."

The remainder of the captains, not expecting the prideful woman to bow before the man they were sure she was going draw her sword against, murmur in surprise. Many were not aware of her humble beginnings, as her abilities were as menacingly powerful as their most elite. But they could not possibly understand her desperation...not like those closest to her. Like her lieutenant...and Ukitake.

"Raise your head, child. It is shameful to see one of my most powerful captains beg. Your feelings are reasonable, but I cannot risk the safety of the soul society. Furthermore," he pauses, not because he is reluctant to deliver such despairing news, but simply because he wants it to sink in. "Anyone you think may have still been waiting for you, are most likely no longer able to be saved. The reishi is not normal reishi...it is somehow corrupting the souls of the individuals living in district 81 and turning them into no more than mindless monsters that must be destroyed."

"Head Captain!" Ukitake cannot contain his outburst, "You should be more gentle in delivering such heavy news." He rushes to Ayame's figure, still slumped over on the floor. She isn't moving...it seems she isn't even breathing. Ukitake gives her shake and calls out her name.

"Ayame...I am sorry for not telling you...I wanted to, but I knew how you would feel-"

"You knew...how I would feel?" She starts quietly, slowly turning to face the man she used to cherish the most."You KNEW how I would FEEL?! If you _knew_...I would not have been kept in the dark about this for so long! If you _knew_, you would be on my side right now!" She pushes him away and stands up.

"That's right...none of you know, or even care! You could never understand what it feels like! I'm not letting you do this...not while I'm still able to fight!"

Ukitake watches in horror as Ayame jumps into the air and releases her zanpakto.

"Dainashi to hakai suru, Kyodaina Arashi!" Ayame possesses one of the most powerful wind type zanpaktos the soul society has ever seen. A simple swing of her blade and she removes the entire ceiling of the large room in addition to sending everything in disarray. Her flash step, second only to former stealth squad captain Yoruichi and perhaps tied with squad 6's Byakuya Kuchiki, allows her to disappear through the large opening before anyone can bat an eye.

Each of the captains look to Yamamoto for guidance, unsure what to do next.

"Look, that woman is no fool. She knows she cannot take on all of us and win. I expect she wishes to go to district 81 and set up some sort of barrier around it while she tries to help the people inside. Her kidou skills, like the rest of her abilities, are exceptional. If we don't stop her she'll delay our objective even further." The head captain stops and his eyes fall on Ukitake.

"Ukitake, you are the most familiar with her fighting style. And you," he turns to Captain Kuchiki, " Kuchiki, are quick enough to catch her in no time. I expect you two to team up and catch her before she reaches district 81. The rest of you are to deploy directly to district 81. Once there, use your bankai to completely reduce it to nothing. Don't leave any of those poor creatures and that awful reishi behind. And afterwards, it is best that we behave as if district 81 never existed. You are dismissed."

With that, the room clears before the drop of a hat. The only two that remain are Yamamoto and Ukitake.

"Are you also disobeying my orders?" The old captain asks, daring Ukitake to defy him.

"No sir...I only wish to ask...what are we to do with Captain Ikeda once we catch her?" He doesn't meet Yamamoto's eyes.

"You will incapacitate her and then place her in jail. She has betrayed the Gotei 13...that is unforgivable no matter the reason. I'm sure you understand this, Ukitake. Now you are dismissed."

He was torn, but he knew what he had to do. If she felt about him the way he felt about her, she would definitely forgive him. It would take time, but their bond was strong.

Or so he thought.

Ayame had put up a good fight, but Yamamoto was right. She was no match for them all. She had almost made it there...but Kuchiki found her and delayed her...and Ukitake, who knew the ins and outs of her techniques, stopped her before she she could do significant damage.

By the time the district had fallen, Ayame was locked tight in a cell and unconscious. Ukitake stood outside her cell until she woke the following day. He took no part in the disaster that went down in district 81. It was the best he could do for the woman he cared so much about.

The soul society would live on. District 81 wouldn't.

Neither would Ayame Ikeda.

**Author's Note: H****er zanpakto name and command are _supposed _to translate to the following: Wreck and Destroy, Mighty Tempest! I used google translate so sorry if that isn't right...Thank you for reading :)**


	2. Prologue Part 2

**Prologue Part 2**

She woke up in a cold sweat. Her body was still heavy with sleep. For a moment she forgot where she was, but then it all clicked. Perhaps it was when she tried to reach up and rub the sleep from her eyes, only to cause an obnoxious clanging from a rusted, thick chain clamped tight around her wrist. Or maybe it was the unsettling feeling of not having her zanpakto - her other half - securely fastened to her hip.

Regardless, she knew what was going on. She had been captured. She had failed to go back to them...to save district 81. And it was all because she had lost to _him._

Hot tears well up and spill over, staining Ayame's cheeks. She doesn't even try to keep her sobs quiet. She weeps so that the entirety of the Seireitei can hear her.

What Ayame had not yet noticed, however, was that Ukitake still stood outside her cell, just out of her view. And what no one would notice were his own silent tears...he couldn't bear her agony. He couldn't bear that he had been at the epicenter of its cause. So he wept with her. No one dared interrupt their sobs. It was days before she had cried until she could cry no more, and until he gathered the courage to confront her.

Ukitake hadn't realized how long he was in that position, shamelessly bent over hugging his knees like some child, but as he stood he felt the stiffness in legs, back and shoulders. He did the best he could in using his robes to clean his puffy, swollen eyes and wet face but he knew he looked a pitiful mess. Somehow, though, he didn't mind that it was Ayame that would see him this way. He hoped she'd understand that their feelings were one...and that there'd be nothing he would regret more than what he had done just a few days ago.

He shuffles over to the open portion of the cell and is startled to find Ayame already standing and facing him. Ukitake gasps in surprise, but then sighs in relief. At least...she wasn't too grief stricken to move. He clears his throat, ready to speak, but is immediately interrupted.

"No, Ukitake. Don't speak. Don't even utter a word." She says...her voice hoarse but steady. It was strange...she did not sound like herself. She sounded flat and monotone, no inflection or emphasis to reveal how Ukitake knew she felt inside. It had always impressed him how she was able to do that so easily, shield the world from her innermost feelings. He had not heard this voice since the day he rescued her. Hearing it now...terrified him.

"Ayame-"

"I said not to speak! What can you say to me right now? What words can you utter that will undo all this? If you have those words, then say them. Otherwise, I don't want anything from you!" Despite the barriers placed in the cell suppressing the fiery captain's spiritual pressure, Ukitake could feel it in the air...it seeped through the cold bars and exposed the emotions Ayame's voice did not. In that time, she had walked up to entrance of the cell. Ukitake gasped again when he saw her emerge from the darkness that was concealing her.

She looked...terrible. Her eyes were red and swollen and she had not bothered to wipe the tear stains from her cheeks. Dark circles framed her eyes, as she had not been sleeping for days now, and her cheeks sunk in from hunger and dehydration. Ukitake had hoped he'd never see her look like this again...like how she looked when he had found her in district 81.

"There's nothing you can say to me...Ukitake." She continues, her eyes focusing on a point beyond his head. "But there is something you can _do_ for me." She whispers.

Ukitake searches her eyes, trying to decipher the meaning of her words, but before he can ask he hears the heavy doors behind him begin to open and several guards rush in.

"Greetings Captain Ukitake sir! We are here to deliver the Central 46's final ruling of miss Ikeda's actions, sir! Please allow us to address the lady. Of course, you are welcome to hear the rulings as well, sir!"

Ukitake looks back at Ayame and when he sees no apparent opposition to the idea of him listening in, he nods. "Please continue, then."

"Yes sir! It has been decided that, upon her betrayal and act of resistance towards the Soul Society's highest authority: Central 46, miss Ikeda has been ordered to immediately resign her captaincy - and overall status as a soul reaper - and never return to life inside the Seireitei ever again. His excellency, captain commander Yamamoto, reported that this is the lightest punishment for the actions that miss Ikeda has committed, and that he plans on making her resignation honorable and respectable. He has granted miss Ikeda residence in the most affluent district. That is, district number 1. This is all we have to report. Our best wishes, former captain Ikeda, and to you, captain Ukitake, sir!"

And with that they march out the room and close the doors quietly behind them. Ukitake falls to his knees, barely able to comprehend the words of the soldiers. Somewhere deep inside, however, he felt the bubblings of joy begin to form. They were allowing Ayame to live! He was waiting for the dreaded execution sentence, but instead they'd allowed her to live in the most affluent district! Ayame is undoubtedly strong...but she was far too passionate for the life of a soul reaper. She could not mindlessly follow commands...from day one everything had to have a just reason.

Maybe a normal life in the soul society was what she needed...one not filled with violence like her life in district 81. Ukitake tries to mask his joy when he looks to Ayame, but the task becomes unnecessary when he meets her eyes. Her anger is unbelievable. If looks could kill he'd lay dead on the floor by now.

"How could he..." Her voice barely a whisper. "How could he! My only home was district 81. Nothing can replace that. I'll admit...the luxuries given alongside being a soul reaper were wonderful, but that's not why I chose this life. I don't give a damn about those things...I wanted...I just wanted to go back to _them_ some day. I wanted to show them what I'd become, and fix things for them. That's all I wanted..."

She began to sob again. Ukitake found it hard to believe that her body could possibly contain anymore tears. Furthermore...how could he ever think that Ayame would enjoy this ruling? It had been his own selfish thoughts that led him to believe that this was the perfect conclusion. He'd always taken the fact that he was the one who rescued her for granted, thinking that he always knew what was best for her, and that as long a she was safe and alive that the both of them could be happy.

But that's not how Ayame thought. No. Years by her side had told him what he knew was coming...he knew her next request before the words could even leave her mouth.

"Ukitake...I can't live in district one. I can't live in any district now. I know this is a lot to ask for, but it's the least you can do after...after..." She can't bring herself to say it. She takes a deep breath to steady her voice. "You must break me out of here and allow me to escape to the World of the Living. I will start anew there...life in the Seireitei is no longer possible for me, but neither is life in the Rukongai. You must understand..."

Ukitake knew that getting caught for such an act could lead to his own execution or exile, but he also knew that once she uttered those words, it could never be a choice. Her request was more powerful than any command that Central 46 could give.

"You have my word, Ayame. I will return here tomorrow midnight. Rest and be prepared to move swiftly." He promises and, after days waiting in shame and disgust at himself outside her cell, he leaves to go formulate a plan.

The next day, midnight.

Somehow, he had succeeded not only in retrieving the former captain's zanpakto, but also in sneaking her past the clueless guards and outside the Seireitei. He supposed he could owe it to Ayame's superb kidou abilities which allowed her to completely conceal her spiritual pressure. If he could not feel the occasional soft brush of her arm against his as they ran together through the cool, night air, not even _he _would be able to detect her presence.

When they finally reached the area where Ukitake had concealed an entrance to the World of the Living( with the help of another friend and kidou expert sworn to secrecy), Ukitake turns to Ayame.

"I am sorry for all that has happened...I know there are no words that I can say to fix the wrong that occurred, but I am sorry. I hope that you are able to start anew in the World of the Living, and that you can be happy again. I will miss you, Ayame. I understand if you choose to erase me from your thoughts, but you will always be in mine." Ukitake says with the utmost sincerity.

For a moment the cold mask that Ayame had been wearing since her escape softens and she turns to face him. A small smile reaches her lips and she embraces an unprepared Ukitake. Slowly, however, he reaches up and returns it. For these short seconds, Ayame decides, she'll relish in his warm and soothing presence.

"I...will always love you, Ukitake. You made me the woman I am...you made it possible for me to dream of saving district 81...it was because of you that my conviction was so strong." She then pulls back and looks him in the eyes. "But then you trampled on that dream. That is why, though my affection for you will not change, I will never forgive you." A single tear, the last tear she'd shed in the Soul Society, falls down her cheek. "And that is why...I don't ever want to see you again." Slowly she tilts her head upwards and places a soft kiss on the white-haired man's cheek.

In response, Ukitake closes his eyes and accepts her affection...never before had they put their feelings for one another in words. He loathed that this was what it took, but he understood her completely. Eyes still closed, he drops his arms and waits for her warmth to disappear.

Once his eyes open, both her presence and the temporary senkai gate have vanished. He feels his body shiver in her absence.

He whispers into the night sky,"I will always love you too, Ayame." And with that he too disappears into the night, silently returning to his barracks in the Seireitei. He did not fear being caught, and he was not. He had several alibis and was swift in his work. Furthermore, his fellow soul reapers did little to look into the matter, as they had attributed her untraceable disappearance to her incredible kidou abilities. She was gone, and Ukitake would spend the rest of his days trying to move on and forget her existence, just as everyone else had forgotten the existence of district 81.

Meanwhile, Ayame in the world of the living.

It was a simple matter, really. Ukitake had set up the senkai gate so that she'd land in none other than Karakura town, where the infamous former captain of squad twelve resided: Kisuke Urahara.

She had never met the man, but even some twenty odd years after his exile, his story, alongside the other fallen captains', remained a hot topic among the Gotei thirteen. His eccentric tastes and looks made him easy to find, a small candy shop not far from where Ayame had landed.

The pinkish glow of sunset was just beginning to settle over the sky when she arrived at his doorstep. She was surprised at how well the scruffy man seemed to have settled into this world. Perhaps it wouldn't be too difficult for her after all? He greeted her with a mischievous grin and let her in. She bowed respectfully and thanked him.

"Please , quit with the formalities. I can't express how much it pleases me to see a fellow fallen captain on this most ordinary day!" He nearly sings with joy. This irritated Ayame, as this was not a light topic, but she let it go.

"How did you know I was a fallen captain?" She asked with an accusatory tone.

"Anyone with a spiritual pressure even half the size of yours would at least have captain potential, if not already be a captain. Since you didn't enter through the Senkaimon-the Soul Society's official gate to the world of the living- a limit was not placed on your spiritual pressure, so it's easy to read." He pauses for a moment after giving Ayame a thoughtful look. "Plus, you have that air to you. I know it well." He ends with a smirk.

_What an odd guy..._Ayame thinks to herself, but decides that he at least has no motive against her. She doubted that this Urahara guy was of any threat to her. Besides, he had what she needed. A gigai.

"I praise you for your observational skills. I assume, then, that you already know what I am here for?"

"Why yes, in fact I do. You need a gigai, right? And not just any ordinary gigai I'm assuming?" He asks with a little too much enthusiasm.

Ayame hesitates a little before answering. "Yes. I fail to see how you'd know that bit, but I do not have time to question you. I need that forbidden gigai you created...the one that steals away your soul reaper powers. That way, not only will it completely conceal my spirit energy, but it will allow me to start anew...as a human."

"Then I have the perfect thing for you. Please wait here, ma'am. It will be a moment."

He returns with a large box, big enough to contain a human body. There's no question what waits inside.

"What is your price?"Ayame asks. She was certain she could cover it. Ukitake had given her a significant sum before their departure for this very purpose. For some strange reason, however, the scruffy blonde looks confused.

"How much are you charging me for this? Is it really that hard to understand?" She was becoming irritated again. She had been through enough and was more than eager to leave her old life behind. What was this man's issue now?

A strange expression lands on his face, a smile with an unreadable undertone. "Why, there is no charge. I am more than happy to help out a fellow fallen captain. I only hope that this gigai treats you well, and you enjoy your new life."

With that he opens the box to reveal an exact replica of Ayame, but in the strange garb of what she assumed was the attire of that era.

"Is this...really going to be my new body?" Ayame asks aloud, mostly to herself. That doesn't stop Urahara from responding.

"Of course, and free of charge. To merge, simply act as if you were going to lay in the box. Your spiritual body will immediately be absorbed by the gigai. I can step out if you would like your privacy." He finishes.

Ayame was, admittedly, scared. She was going to do it, but for some reason wanted the mysterious stranger to remain in the room. Ordinarily she would question his kindness and willingness to hand over the very thing that caused him to be banished from the soul society so easily.

But not today, not after all that had happened. This gigai was her ticket to moving on, though she knew she could never really erase the strong emotions etched permanently into her heart.

"No, please remain there. I am ready. "

With that Ayame stands and, in a few short steps, halts just before the box. She stares at her currently lifeless body wondering what lay ahead. Inhaling deeply, she about-faces and prepares to take the first step to the rest of her life.

Before letting herself fall into the box and becoming one with the forbidden gigai, she turns her head to face the mysterious man and gives him a genuine smile of gratitude.

"Thank you." She says, and then falls backwards into the box. She noticed, however, that on her way down the strange man's smile momentarily faltered, replaced by a troubled expression. She did not know, and possibly would never know what it meant, because at that point it was too late. Before she could even give it a second thought she felt the odd sensation of the tiny spirit particles her body was composed of melding into the gigai. In the blink of an eye, her spirit body was no more.

What Ayame also didn't know was that not only would that be the day she'd lose all her spiritual power, but also the day she'd lose all her memories leading up to that moment. Furthermore, it'd be a long time before the light of day reached her eyes.

Kisuke was unaware of what side effects would result from the adjustments he had made to the gigai, but he predicted they'd be long-lasting. He never guessed, however, that the gigai would leave the former female captain in a coma for nearly a hundred years.

As fate would have it, though, that is precisely what happened.

**Note: So that's the end of the super long prologue! Chapter One should be up soon : ) **


	3. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

It seemed more or less like an ordinary day. Very few truly _interesting_ things had occurred since Kisuke's exile those years ago...and many a time he'd find himself sitting on the roof of his small "candy" shop, lazily watching the sky and allowing random thoughts to pop into his relentless mind. Today was one such day.

_Well, _Kisuke thought, correcting himself, _There _have _been a _few_ interesting things..._

Most recently there was the appearance of that soul reaper kid, Ichigo Kurosaki, along with his friends. They had been occupying most of his time and interest for the last few weeks. Besides that, Kisuke couldn't really think of much.

Sighing and adjusting his favorite striped hat, he jumps down and returns to the front of his tiny "candy" store. He gives his life's work a long, thoughtful look and finally goes inside. After throwing a lazy wave to Tessai, Ginta and Ururu, he finds himself making his way to the back of the shop. There, he takes a good look at all of his latest products. Hmmm...it seems he hadn't ordered anything too interesting lately either. After all, he made sure to keep his most important things in his giant, underground training room. Well, with the exception of...

Kisuke's thoughts trail off and his eyes inevitably wander to the far corner of the fully stocked room. There, he sees a life-sized rectangular object covered by a thick, heavy cloth. Right...there's _that_ box, he thinks to himself. A box which definitely held some interesting memories.

Like he'd been doing once a day for the last eighty years, he slowly makes his way to the large box and places a hand on the rough cloth. Closing his eyes, memories from that day flood back to him. He saw the desperate and pleading eyes of the female captain, Ayame Ikeda if he recalled correctly, as she asked for one of his forbidden gigais. Sensing her desperation, Kisuke took advantage and gave her..._that_ one. The experimental gigai that he knew was unstable, but had to test out before he gave away the one he truly needed to work.

And this was what had become of her. She was nothing more than, for lack of a better description, a sleeping beauty, comatose, and she'd remained that way since that night. She hadn't shown any signs of waking up in all this time, so why did Kisuke keep her nearly dead body? He'd spent years trying to figure out how to get her to wake up, but gave up around fifty or so ago. He'd built a special box to put her body in that fed a unique mixture of nutrients and spiritual energy that kept her body strong and virtually halted her aging, but what was the point?

Finally he pulls away the cloth and takes a look at Ayame's face, possible because he'd included a small, glass window just above it. Just as it had been for the last eighty years, her face is calm and her eyes closed. What had he been expecting? For her to suddenly wake up on this random day? He couldn't help but think that maybe if she did...his guilt would be a little less. Sighing to himself once more, he picks the cloth back up and prepares to throw it back over the box.

Several things happen at once. Before he can cover the box back up, he hears a loud explosion in the distance and an incredible surge of spiritual pressure fills the air. Kisuke jumps in surprise and drops the cloth, meanwhile the box sways dangerously. _Really Ichigo...again with this? That kid really needs to learn how to control his spirit energy..._he thinks as he composes himself and runs to catch the giant box before it topples over.

However, something amazing happens when he approaches Ayame. For a moment-just a short moment-he sees her eyes flutter and her face twitch. It is so subtle that he almost misses it. Throughout the years Ayame had displayed no movement other than shallow breathing. Not a twitch or sigh, she neither tossed nor turned when left on a bed...and now this? Could she really possibly be waking up?

_Ahhh! This makes sense now!_ Kisuke thought. The intense spiritual pressure being released by Ichigo must be, somehow, resonating with Ayame's dormant soul and coaxing her awake...The numerous surges caused by the clumsy, orange-haired boy in the last few weeks are having an affect on Ayame! This was what was missing...perhaps Kisuke's spiritual energy alone wasn't enough, but with Ichigo randomly spurting his all out like this, it seems that not only was he capable of awakening the spiritual powers dormant in his friends...but Ayame's soul as well. This was certainly an intriguing notion.

_Jeez...that kid really is something! _Kisuke's thoughts continue, but he can't help but feel excitement forming deep within him at the thought of Ayame reawakening.

" Ohhhh Tessai! I have a few tasks for you...!" Kisuke yells, eager to get started on the preparations.

**A/N: So this story will take place starting a little after Ichigo gets his soul reaper powers and will probably just pick up from there...Thanks for tuning in! Stick around for Ayame waking up in Chapter 2! Also the last bit about _how_ Ayame wakes up probably doesn't make much sense but I couldn't think of anything better(aka didn't want to rewrite it hehe) so feel free to come up with your own idea of how she wakes up :)**


	4. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It was a strange feeling. There was darkness. In fact, the only thing Ayame was certain of was darkness. Concepts such as time, space and matter were nonexistent to her. That's all there was to the world. Darkness.

So it was even stranger when that began to change. As her mind did not yet understand what time was, she could not say when the images started, but that's when her cocoon of darkness began its metamorphosis. One could at first describe them as "phantom images." Just random lights flashing here and there...no meaning or proof that they were anything substantial.

But soon the concept of 'color' began to surface. Indistinguishable lights became 'blue' then 'red' then 'green.' Not long after, the colors mixed and gained texture...she could recall words like 'sky' and 'grass'...'tree' and 'water.' Objects...like 'house' and 'chair.'

That's when the more abstract concept of 'life' came to her, followed by images of...'people.' She saw 'faces' with 'smiles' on them...'children' in dirty tattered clothes, but nonetheless 'happy' circling around her feet. She saw there bright 'eyes' shining and filled with the colors she'd discovered not too long ago. _Who are these children? And why are they so happy to see me?_

Then another face popped into view...a waterfall of snow-white hair...two of these so-called 'eyes' filled with the color 'green' and something else Ayame didn't quite understand. At first words like 'warm' and 'comforting' and 'inviting' popped into her head...but then it hit like a bolt of lightning.

'Love.'

It was with that word that the darkness shattered and she was blinded with light. The feeling was like dunking one's head underwater for a few seconds too long and then rushing to the surface for a dramatic gulp of air. Only, for Ayame, she was gasping for more than air. When she awoke her body and her mind inhaled the world around her and her thoughts sprung to life after being dead for all those years.

The stimulus was too much. Her eyes were wide open and filled with terror...this was not like her cocoon of darkness where she could process the world little by little. She was hit like a wrecking ball...calling her disoriented would be an understatement. Glancing around wildly, Ayame saw that she was in a small room with wooden walls. Light shown in through the windows, revealing a sunny afternoon. Now looking down, she saw she was laying on a small futon, just large enough for her, with a thin blanket covering her.

She also noticed that although all she'd been doing was moving her head from side to side, the task wasn't easy. She felt heavy...like everything was asleep. She tried willing her body to sit up but nothing was happening. That's when she heard him.

"Ayame...? Are you...really awake?"

Ayame's head shoots in the direction of the voice and her eyes finally land on a disheveled man with scruffy blond hair and a tacky green-striped hat. She can hardly control her panic when she sees him._  
_

Finally her body began to slowly catch up to her mind, and she causes her self to roll limply away from the map. She tries to yell but her tongue feels like nothing more than a dead piece of meat.

"Ayame, please calm down! I'm not going to hurt you...jeez why'd she have to wake up now, of all times?"

_Why'd I have to wake up?_

"Tessai! Please help miss Ayame, I need to go see Ichigo right now!" The striped hat man yells while a panic-stricken Ayame still struggles to get control of her body. She watches the strange man leave the room with an odd expression on his face. '_Guilt.' _The word pops in Ayame's mind.

Shortly after, a large man with braids and glasses enters the room and another wave of panic washes over Ayame. She'd finally managed to sit up but at this point her legs were still useless. The new stranger speaks.

"Hello, miss Ayame. I am pleased to be at your service. Please do not panic and return to your bed, I have brought a special medicine that should allow your body to wake up much faster."

The man's voice was deep and oddly soothing. Ayame's panic wanes and she reluctantly-and rather awkwardly-shuffles her way back to the bed. Once she is in place, Tessai presents a tray to her.

_It looks like...'tea'. _Ayame thinks. Suddenly a memory of her and a gentle man with white hair flashes in her mind...they sit overlooking a green meadow while sipping from beautiful porcelain tea cups. The memory was so warm and pleasant. She doesn't hesitate when the large man offers her a sip.

He puts the cup to her lips and warm liquid fills her mouth and washes down her throat...it has an earthy taste. One that she felt she'd tasted countless times, but would never cease to amaze with its refreshing flavor. As the man had promised, the warmth was spreading from the pit of her stomach to her deadened limbs, forcing them to life. In seconds she was able to take hold of the tiny, smooth cup and sipped it several more times.

Once she finished her first cup she gestured for a second and third. By the fourth, she was able to speak.

"May I...have another?" The sound of her voice shocked her for a moment. Though hesitant, there was an undeniable strength to her tone. It was the voice of a woman who experienced true hardship. At the moment she could not remember anything about herself, but from the sound of her own voice, perhaps she had a past worth forgetting.

"Of course miss Ayame." Tessai answers. As he pours the cup, Ayame speaks again.

"Ayame...I am Ayame. Ayame...?" She tried to think of her surname but was once again drawing a blank.

"Ikeda. You are Ayame Ikeda." A now familiar voice answers from behind Tessai's large frame. Now nearly in full control, Ayame cranes her neck to see past Tessai and her eyes fall on the man from earlier. A strange emotion unfurls within Ayame at the sight of the man, but she does not have a name for it yet. She had already calmed herself down and decided to take in everything slowly, so she continues to look at the man curiously.

"I see my special tea has worked?" The man asks...his voice is filled with mischief and mystery. Ayame's mind no longer stumbles over these abstract concepts...there are only a few now she cannot name.

"Yes, I am capable of movement. My deepest appreciation goes to you-" The man cuts her off.

"There you go with the formalities again! There is no need to thank me," he says, that emotion Ayame detected earlier from him briefly filling his voice. " You are our honored guest for now, miss Ayame. Please drink a few more cups of the tea and you should be up and moving in no time." The scruffy man then bows, such an odd gesture for one who seemed so...how could Ayame put it? The exact opposite of formal...

" Likewise, there is no need for you to bow for me." For some strange reason this phrase stirs another image...a hazy face in the back of her mind with no name. She lets it go. " And how may I address you?"

The man hesitates for a moment. _Wow...she really has lost most of her memories._ "You may call me Kisuke. Kisuke Urahara. And this nice man here is Tessai." He says, gesturing to the large man with the braids. A certain relief washes over Kisuke when Ayame doesn't so much as flinch at the mention of his name. It didn't raise any memories. He could start with her on a clean slate.

Ayame looks to both men thoughtfully. "Well Kisuke, Tessai...thank you." She gives a smile containing warmth and gratitude. Kisuke found it almost unreal how a face that had been dead and empty for so long could so quickly regain life...how the still and lifeless body he'd been harboring for so many years contained a woman with such charisma and strength. It seemed his guilt wasn't going to leave overnight just because she finally woke up. No...this was not a quick-fix situation.

He decided he'd help this woman achieve the dream she so desperately wanted those years ago: to live as a simple human. He wouldn't tell her about her painful past, at least for as long as she couldn't remember it herself. Judging from her nearly nonexistent spiritual energy he doubted she'd be able to see or sense soul reapers and hollows. She'd live in the same blissful ignorance as all the other normal humans in the world of the living

Yes. He'd help her get on her feet and shield her from this world. Maybe this way she could be happy, and he could relieve himself of the guilt he'd held for so long.


	5. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Almost a month had passed since Ayame woke up on the floor of the strange but kind man named Kisuke Urahara. Apparently, he and his friend Tessai had been taking a casual stroll down Karasu river, one of Karakura Town's most beautiful landmarks, and found her nearly dead body washed up on one of its banks. Even after taking Ayame to the hospital where all her vital signs were fully restored, she had yet to wake up.

Being the kind folk they are, Kisuke and Tessai had agreed to take care of Ayame until she woke up. When that did finally happen, for some strange reason, she had no recollection of her life before the incident. In fact, she had no recollection of the incident itself.

She woke up empty, and all the two men could offer were her belongings that had washed up beside her body: a small handbag with a wallet that contained Ayame's headshot labeled 'Ayame Ikeda, born April 6, 1989.' There was no official ID or document that could give them a hint as to where she came from...who out there may have been worrying about her disappearance.

So now, all Ayame knows about herself are her name and age. That, and the sad truth that she is alone. She has nothing….no home to return to.

But Ayame supposed her situation wasn't all that bad. After all, like she mentioned earlier, Kisuke was a nice guy. For reasons unknown to Ayame, he did everything in his power to help her get back on her feet. That included helping her get her own small apartment and landing her a modest job as a cashier at the local supermarket. Other than the initial shock of her virtually nonexistent identity and discovery of how much she couldn't remember about the world, her life has been pretty peaceful. And...despite that strange feeling that washed over Ayame when she first met him, she knew she owed this peace to Kisuke.

With that concluding thought she helps out her final customer for the day, sighing as she had once again forgotten to switch off the 'Cash Register Open' sign when her shift had ended nearly thirty minutes ago. She often got lost in her thoughts like this; perhaps it was her mind's subtle way of trying to forge her forgotten past.

It didn't help that her manager never alerted her when she accidently worked overtime...probably because Ayame was too kind to deny helping close up shop, a job that only those who were actually _paid_ for working late were supposed to perform. Ayame laughs to herself with amusement. She didn't really mind working unpaid overtime...the pathetic scraps that handled the nightshift probably needed her meticulousness.

"I guess we're having a good day?" A gentle voice snaps Ayame from her inner thoughts. She tries not to act flustered after being caught so off guard, but mostly fails. She thought she had already helped out her last customer! Where did this guy come from? And damn it, why didn't she turn off the sign!

Taking a deep breath, she tilts her head upwards to meet the unexpected customer in the eyes. _Jeez he's kinda tall!_ Ayame thinks to herself. She prepares to flash her typical, bright employee smile, but upon making eye contact, instead finds a different expression make its way to her face.

Rather, her face is filled with shock and awe, mouth open wide enough for who-knows-what to fly in. She had expected the usual customer, a middle-aged adult, probably a parent, rushing in to buy last minute food items for hungry children and spouses waiting at home. But that wasn't who stood before her.

No…what Ayame saw were two impossibly green eyes and a benign smile...she saw perfect, straight features that even someone as new to the world as Ayame knew would be considered handsome. She saw long, white, full locks that would put any tresemmé model to shame. The man also exuded a strange aura...one that was peaceful, warm, and somehow as delicate as it was strong.

But these were but the tip of the iceberg of what intrigued Ayame about this man. It wasn't just his looks or his unique nature...it was that, despite how much Ayame knew it _couldn't_ be possible that she knew this man, that she knew what it felt to sit and drink tea and relax alongside him, that she knew what it felt to be in his gentle embrace, one glance at him had left her with a vague memory of these actions. Those, and many, many more.

It wasn't enough to say that the man was familiar. He was more than that. He was someone she loved. But….he also wasn't.

At this point Ayame knew she had been staring for too long, and she could feel how dry the inside of her mouth was becoming after holding it open for so long. It probably didn't help that he held the stare through to the end, although he appeared much more composed than our poor Ayame. But finally, she finds her voice and greets the man as she would any other customer.

"Good evening sir, did you find everything okay today?" Employee smile, check.

"Why yes, I found _exactly_ what I was looking for." He says with a strange undertone. Ayame meets his eyes again, unsure how to respond to his statement. It sounded so….loaded. All kinds of implicit meanings swam around in his words. She shakes it off.

"Well that's great! Just let me ring this up for you so you can hurry and be on your way." She says cheerily, finally glancing down at the single item the man was purchasing. It was….a bouquet of flowers. The arrangement was absolutely beautiful. A mixture of snow-white alstroemeria, miniature lavender carnations and delicate waxflowers came together to form a stunning array of pale-purple and white. And the smell….was delicious.

Ayame gasps and unconsciously reaches out to caress one of the soft petals. However, at the same instant, the strange white-haired man also reaches for the bouquet, probably to scoot it closer to the scanner. It didn't matter, however, because when their hands brushed ever so lightly, the vague feeling of familiarity Ayame experienced earlier returned with a vengeance. That, and something else.

She snatches her hand back and looks to the man again. He now dons an apologetic look. After all, he probably didn't know why Ayame was behaving so strangely. It was common for her to accidentally brush hands with customers as they both unknowingly reached for items at the same time. This is no different. It should have been no different.

But it was. So Ayame decided she should try to remove herself from this situation as quickly as possible. In an almost dazed manner, she rings the item up and tells the man the price. He gives her the money, she gives him his change, and like that he walks out the door.

Ayame can't help but watch him as he leaves. His movements are swift and graceful. He is gone as quickly as he had appeared, his long ivory hair swaying as he makes his exit.

She hadn't realized it, but she hadn't taken another breath since she accidently brushed hands with the strange man. Gasping, she shakes her head and hurriedly shuts off her 'Cash Register Open' sign. The last thing she needed was another "unexpected customer."

"My life just can't get any weirder…" she mumbles to herself while untying the worker's apron that was a part of her uniform. Turning around, she is startled yet again by one of her coworkers: the ever jovial Kei. She stood almost an entire head below Ayame, impressive since Ayame herself was only about 5'4", and donned two chocolate brown pony tails and a perennial smile.

"Jeez kid, what did I tell you about sneaking up on me!" She yells with mock anger, ruffling Kei's hair. Although they'd only been working together for three weeks, she'd begun to see the hyperactive teenager as a younger sister of sorts. Somehow, Ayame knew it was in her nature to take those who were young and inexperienced under her wing, and Kei gladly accepted that.

Except right now Kei was looking up at Ayame with wide, glassy eyes, as if expecting something, but not saying a word. What did the crazy teen have going through her head this time?

"What is it, Kei? I don't really have time for this….and I probably won't have time to help you guys clean up shop. I have a dinner to get to-" Kei nearly cuts her off.

"Dinner with _him_?!" She squeals, hands clutched over her chest.

At first the question confuses Ayame. "With who….? What huh!" She exclaims, finally understanding the teen's question. "Why would you think that?! I never even met the guy!" _I think_. Ayame can't help her silent thoughts.

"Riiiight? Is that why you guys looked at each other so longingly? Because you've _never_ met before? Even standing all the way on the other side of the store I could feel the tension between you two! Come on, you can tell me!" She says, getting louder.

"Look, I don't know him and I don't know what you're talking about." Ayame insists, but can't fight a slight blush creeping up her neck as she recalls their brief but impactful contact.

"Oooooh I get it! You guys are doing that role play thing! Pretending you don't know each other and then you'll meet in a bar or something….that's a bit kinky for you Miss A but I knew you weren't all that innocent!" The teen giggles to herself. Turning around she says, " I'll wrap up shop, you can go ahead to your not-date date."

It's useless to continue arguing with her, so Ayame takes her offer and, after folding up her apron and returning it to her employee locker, heads out to walk towards Urahara's shop. It wasn't a particularly long walk, but she knew she'd be there well past their usual dinner time. What with her unexpected encounter and all.

For the last month, she'd made it a point to have dinner at the small store with Kisuke and Tessai a few nights a week. They, after all, helped make her current life possible. Furthermore, Ayame didn't know much - hell - she didn't know anything about cooking. In fact she didn't even know how to use 70% of the devices found in her kitchen.

Kisuke let her dine with them, and in return she'd clean up after them and occasionally bring back groceries from the supermarket. They would also often end with a new lesson about this foreign world Ayame was so recently thrown into( or at least she felt like it was recent, her having no memories and all).

Today she was late and grocery-less, but they would accept her, she knew it. When she finally is at the doorstep, she sighs, thankful for the small circle of friends she quite literally fell into. Before she can knock on the door and alert them of her presence, someone comes bursting through.

The door flies open and almost hits Ayame in the face, but her unusual reflexes(she had fun discovering this natural talent) allow her to get out of the way just in time.

"Hey what's the big idea!" Ayame exclaims at the figure frantically emerging from the small shop. It is a young man, around the same age as Kei, with fiery orange hair and an intense look in his eyes. Far too intense for one his age. He's bruised and covered in bandages….as usual.

"Uh...sorry Miss A." He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.

Ayame snorts amusedly. "It's okay kid. You look like you were in a rush. Go ahead." She watches his retreating figure with vague curiosity, wondering what kind of life he must lead with a stare like that and all those bandages. Ayame saw him at Kisuke's shop often...sometimes with a group of his friends. They all had this tenseness to them that Ayame didn't understand, so different from Kei. _They're young! What could they possibly have to worry about?_ She mused to herself.

Suddenly a familiar, disheveled man appears at the door and greets Ayame.

"Ayame, you're late! We're starving here waiting for you!" He holds a small fan in front of his face playfully.

"Sorry, Kisuke. I got a little caught up, and speaking of caught up, what is that Ichigo kid doing so that he always looks like that!" She jokes as she enters his small but comfy shop.

Kisuke brushes her joke off, knowing he could never answer it truthfully. Not when she already seemed like she was leading such a happy life.

"What, no more formality? You're so rude these days, Ayame!" He says jokingly, but does secretly miss that side of Ayame. She adjusted to the informal jargon of the world of the living rather quickly. He continues, "...Come look at what we've made for you!"

"Of course!" Ayame answers, and they have a nice relaxing meal. So relaxing that not only does Ayame nearly forget Ichigo's distressed appearance at the door, but also her strange encounter at work. After helping clean up after dinner Ayame heads home with a contented smile on her face. Life was really working out for her….maybe it wasn't so bad starting from a clean slate.

Or so she thinks, until she stands before the stone steps that lead to her cozy apartment on the second floor. They never seemed so daunting. The air….felt heavy. Someone was there. To be honest, she had felt it for a while now, but hoped it was just meaningless paranoia. It was pretty late late, after all.

Cautiously looking side to side, she tries to find the stalker, but can sense nothing. Maybe it was her imagination.

Sighing once more, she makes her way up the steps and pulls out her keys. All she wants now is a hot shower and a good night's rest. Too bad that never happens. At least not the 'good night's rest' part.

It doesn't happen because, sitting right outside her door, where nothing more than a colorful 'welcome' mat should have been, was one of the most beautiful flower bouquets Ayame had ever laid her eyes upon. The same bouquet that the mysterious man had purchased from her at the supermarket.

There was a note on it. She picked it up and read it.

_To Ayame,_

_I'm glad to see that you are doing well. I'm….so sorry for daring to show my face to you again. I know these aren't anything but powerless flowers that can never undo the past, but please accept them as a small token of my apology. I will always love you,_

_-J.U_.

And after reading that, like hell was Ayame going to be able to sleep tonight.

**Author's Note: Holy Moly I'm on a role tonight! ( when I totally have hw due tomorrow heehee...) I know it's long...but if you get through it, let me know what you think! :)**


	6. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I_ shouldn't have done that….I really shouldn't have done that. Why did I do that?! What did I think the result would be?! _Ukitake continues to pace around in his room, mentally screaming at himself for his actions last night. He could hear Kiyone and Sentaro sitting just outside his door. For once they weren't arguing…_.they're probably worried about how strangely I'm acting.._Ukitake ponders.

That's right, why was he behaving this way? Since when was he the type of man to sneak out of the Seireitei in the middle of the night, without any permission, and go to the world of the living? Since when was he the kind of man to blatantly go back on his word and, in some desperate ploy, try to get back the woman he lost so long ago?

Ukitake is not this type of man. The last time he broke the rules and snuck around was for Ayame's benefit those many years ago...right now he was acting on his own selfish desires. Ukitake didn't know what came over him. He never really planned on searching for Ayame. She had disappeared from the grid nearly 80 years ago...and in all honesty Ukitake thought that she had, well, passed on. If everything went according to plan and she became human that night, then that was what should've happened anyways. It pained him to think about it, but it was a reality he was slowly trying to accept.

But when Ukitake received orders to keep tabs on Ichigo Kurosaki...by some strange miracle he had stumbled across Ayame. He was incredulous at first, but there was no mistaking it. There was no way Ukitake didn't recognize those violet eyes and that strong, charismatic presence. That voice that, while it was undoubtedly feminine, had a low ring to it that carried no matter how quietly or loudly she spoke.

As soon as he found her he knew he had to see her. He didn't give it a second thought….he didn't give it _any_ thought! Once he found the means he immediately escaped to the world of the living. In fact, he went there twice. The first time was an absolute failure. He went there in his spirit form, thinking for some reason that she'd still be able to see him. So that day all he did was watch her from afar. He noted her daily routine, where she worked, where she lived...and he saw that she was quite friendly with the now exiled former captain of squad 12: Kisuke Urahara. Ukitake didn't understand at first...why had it taken 80 years for her to resurface? And when she did, why did she stick to Kisuke? Didn't she _want _to forget about her old life? One would think that she'd distance herself away from the former soul reaper.

It took him a while to realize that the reason she was sticking around the supposed shopkeeper was because she didn't _know_ who he really was. Not only had she lost her spiritual power, but her memories as well. Ukitake didn't know how to take it. When he headed back to the soul society, he had almost decided that it would be best if he never tried to see her again. Almost.

But then a thought popped into his mind. Ayame didn't remember her past. She didn't remember what she took as his act of betrayal. She didn't remember the day they parted, when she took him in her arms and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek after declaring she never wanted to see him again.

It was that glimmer of hope that caused Ukitake to return a second time. One way or another he had gotten his hands on a gigai so that, at least to Ayame, he would appear as human as she. And on a whim he met her at the supermarket she currently worked at.

Ayame hadn't noticed, but he'd been there for at least an hour before he decided to approach her. He even went so far as buying her a bouquet of flowers,making sure to include all her favorites. He'd gotten them from somewhere else but decided that it would appear more natural if he made it look like he had purchased it from the supermarket. All he had to do was switch the tags with one of the arrangements the supermarket was selling.

Then came the time to go to her. It was strange...the whole time he felt like he was in a daze. He stood there for a while just watching her lost in her thoughts. Then when she started giggling to herself - such a carefree laugh, Ukitake remembered - he took that opportunity to initiate their interaction.

When they made eye contact, Ukitake almost thought she remembered him. She looked so shocked and confused...they'd stared at one another for what seemed like an eternity before she broke it herself. Ukitake wasn't trying to make the situation uncomfortable or awkward, but once they'd locked eyes he felt like he couldn't move. It had been so long since he looked into those strong, beautiful eyes, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to do it again. He held it for as long as he could and, by some miracle, maintained a neutral look.

Then she asked if he'd found what he was looking for, and he couldn't control his mouth when the words "Why yes, I found _exactly_ what I was looking for" poured out. He didn't mean to deliver a line filled with such heavy implications, but it was true. He had found her. After all this time, this was really her.

Then the inevitable happened. An innocent touch...just a simple brushing of hands. But it left him wanting more. He more than missed her contact. Their years working together were filled with simple, innocent touches. There was the occasional embrace, but always as friends. It was Ayame who had changed the nature of their interactions the day that she left those years ago, when she placed a kiss on his cheek. When she held onto him not as a friend, but something more. That was the day that Ukitake discovered that he didn't just love her...he was _in love_ with her.

Even though he had spent all these years trying to forget her, trying to let his memories of that night sink into recesses of his mind, he knew it was futile. Many a time he'd wake up in the middle of the night, covered in sweat and utterly drained after having yet another dream about Ayame. His hand would unconsciously make its way to the cheek that Ayame's lips had touched and a single tear would fall from his eye. Then, as if it were the world's way of punishing him, he'd have a coughing fit and alarm everyone around him. Ukitake had always been sickly, but his health was noticeably worse after Ayame left.

There were so many conflicting emotions swimming through him now. He wanted to see her again….he _needed_ to see her again. But he shouldn't. Once should have been enough...twice was just plain greedy. From the third time and on he'd be more than a glutton. He'd be a liar and a traitor. Ayame didn't want to see him again...she said it so clearly those years ago. He didn't deserve to see her again. What kind of person would he be to take advantage of her losing her memories?

Furthermore, these were dangerous times. Any second now Aizen would make his move. Allowing Ayame to remain in blissful ignorance and distancing her from this world are in her best interest. She has no powers now….so that would be safest.

But why was he already imagining his third visit? Why was he already planning how they'd meet again, this time more naturally and for a longer period of time? Why was he imagining her in his arms...the soft blush that would fill her cheeks as he moved in for a kiss...no! He was already a traitor and a liar...since when was he a pervert too?!

As if on cue he hears a rough knock on his door followed by, "Oi! Ukitake! What's going on in there? You alright? I'm coming in anyways." And then in an only slightly quieter voice, "Nanao please hold my sake, I think I might have to act serious for the next few minutes."

Ukitake sighs and turns to face the door right when Shunsui Kyoraku, captain of squad 8 and Ukitake's closest friend, bursts into his room. Ukitake does his best to pull himself together and gives Shunsui a relaxed smile.

"Hey Shunsui, I'm alright! What made you think I wasn't?" He tries to put on his best facade in front of his best friend. It surprises him when Shunsui seems to fall for it.

"Well that's great! You had me worried there for a sec...even Kiyone and Sentaro stopped their yappin' for once in mutual worry for you." Shunsui sighs and sinks into a sitting position beside Ukitake. He waits for his friend to continue, but all that follows is silence. This is strange. Usually Shunsui would start rambling about something by now….he didn't even have Nanao shower him in his signature rose petals before he entered the room. Ukitake was growing restless...he couldn't take it anymore. He decides to break the silence.

"Nanao seems like she's being pretty ni-" Shunsui cuts him off before he can finish.

"So how is Miss Ayame these days?"

Ukitake flinches at the question, eyes widening at the thought of Shunsui knowing about Ayame's reappearance. There's no way that he could know….how could he know? Despite his aversion for deceitful behavior, Ukitake was quite skilled in covering his tracks and creating alibis. It was impossible for anyone to have followed him. He would have sensed them, especially if it was someone as familiar as Shunsui.

Ukitake was silent for too long. He had to try to play it off...pretend like he didn't know what Shunsui was talking about.

"Shunsui...don't be so cruel! I wish I knew how she was doing-" Shunsui cuts him off again.

"Then your wishes must be getting granted lately, Ukitake. Don't try to deceive me like you've been deceiving everyone else. I've known you for too long."

Ukitake sighs, knowing Shunsui was right. If there was one person he absolutely couldn't lie to, it would be Shunsui. "So how'd you find out?" He finally asks in defeat.

"I have my ways…"Shunsui answers mysteriously. "But don't worry, I haven't told anyone..."

"Yet." Ukitake finishes for him, knowing where his friend was going. It more than saddened him that he wouldn't be able to see Ayame again...and furthermore that he would be punished for his actions. _Shunsui is probably doing what he thinks is best for me….and Ayame too. Before her disappearance, they were friends as well...sort of, at least. _Ukitake gets lost in his own thoughts, almost forgetting that Shunsui was still sitting right beside him.

_Ahhh...there he goes again, assuming that I'll always follow the rules. _Shunsui thinks to himself, chuckling a little. "No, Ukitake. I'm not going to tell anyone. I know about your secret rendezvous to the world of the living too...and I'm not gonna tell about those either."

Ukitake stares at his friend in shock...unable to tell whether it is due to the fact that Shunsui already knows about him escaping to the world of the living, or that he wasn't going to tell anyone. He just couldn't understand…

"But...why? I broke the rules! I..._lied_ to people! And I'm...betraying Ayame! No matter how you look at this, it's wrong! Why are you-" Shunsui cuts him off yet again.

"Ukitake...you'd think that after all these years you'd know me better." Shunsui suddenly stands up, his demeanor changing from his usual lazy, apathetic one to one full of energy and excitement. He throws his hat in the air, a shower of rose petals falling from some secret compartment within it. "My dear friend Ukitake...rules mean nothing in the face of love!" Shunsui nearly sings. Ukitake can't help but wonder how much sake his friend had already drank this early in the morning.

"I can just imagine it...the passion in your heart, urging you to act against all that you know is right and honorable. There's such beauty in it! A cruel beauty...I know you feel torn, but I say to hell with it! And that Ayame...she's a good girl. A real cutie too!"

Ukitake continues to look at his friend, his shock turning into something else. A few seconds of silence pass by as Shunsui seems to have used all his energy for the day and settles down. Finally Ukitake allows himself to burst into laughter, and he does so until tears almost come to his eyes.

"Sh-Shunsui..I didn't know you could be so passionate! There have been very few times that I've seen you move with such vigor...it was strange. But do you really approve of my actions?"

Sitting next to Ukitake once more, Shunsui meets his eyes, intense and serious. "Ukitake, love is not a game, and it is not something to joke around with. If you still love Ayame, you need to see her. You need to make things right. I know you...you think that because she lost her memories, you are taking advantage of her. That is not the case...her losing her memories is an opportunity for you! It's like the world's way of telling you that you guys are meant to get back together!"

"Well...we weren't ever really together in the first place…" Ukitake responds, actually taking Shunsui's words into consideration. Was this really his 'opportunity,' as Shunsui put it?

"What? Really? That's strange...I guess I lost that bet against Nanao those years ago…"

Ukitake was confused…"A bet? What bet with Nanao?"

"Hmm..? You didn't know! Well, everyone sorta talked about it, but Nanao and I placed a bet that you two were going out. But neither of us ever got solid proof, and then, you know, _that_ happened and Ayame disappeared so we kinda just forgot about it...oh well! You obviously wanted to go out with her, right?" Shunsui chuckles to himself again, happy that he in a way won the bet.

Ukitake feels his cheeks warm but tries to stay composed in front of his closest friend. "At the time I didn't really think of her like that. I knew I loved her but it stopped there...but now...I don't know. As soon I saw her again, as soon as I found out where she was and that she was still alive, I knew I _needed_ her. And...in a different way than before…" Ukitake couldn't believe he was admitting this outloud, and to his perverted best friend nonetheless.

"Don't worry, that's normal, Ukitake! Stop playing so innocent. Look," Shunsui says, seriousness returning to his voice. "I'll help you out. I'll cover for you...I'll even help out with your alibis if you need me to. Just promise me that you'll make her happy and keep her safe, yeah?"

Ukitake blinks a few times, still having trouble believing that Shunsui was going to let him do this. And when all these terrible things were going on! This really wasn't the time for Ukitake to lose focus...for him to leave the Seireitei one captain short, when they were already so many captains short. But...as he had already admitted to Shunsui, he needed Ayame. Shunsui's passionate approval was more than enough to end Ukitake's reluctance.

"You have my word." Ukitake finally answers.

Shunsui smiles a contented smile. He knew Ukitake would be happier this way...and Ayame probably would be too, in the long run. She's a spunky girl with a hard exterior and a lot of passion, but Shunsui remembered how Ukitake was always able to break through that exterior. They were meant for eachother...he just knew it. This is right.

"So, what are your plans for your second date?" Shunsui asks with smirk, enjoying teasing his far too innocent friend.

Trying to fight back his blush, Ukitake answers. " There was never really a first one...but I've had a few ideas for a d-date," Ukitake stumbles over the word. For some reason, it feels so foreign to his tongue. "I guess I can run them by you?"

And the two men talk, planning Ukitake's third trip to the world of the living and hopefully, if things go accordingly, an official date between long lost lovers Jushiro Ukitake and Ayame Ikeda.

**Author's Note: Sorry if I'm being a little tricky with the time setting of the story...let's just say that it's already after Ichigo and co have returned from the soul society and it's revealed that Aizen is a traitor. Ukitake was able to find Ayame after he gave Ichigo the substitute soul reaper badge( if you've seen the whole anime/read the manga you'd know that the badge was used to keep an eye on Ichigo, hopefully that didn't spoil anything for anyone! ) Stay tuned to read about Ukitake and Ayame's date : )**


	7. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: So I'll admit this chapter is really long and quite rambley(totally made that word up)...but if you get through it all there's a pleasant surprise at the end! Well...maybe not pleasant but it is certainly a surprise. At least for Ayame : ) Btw thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this story! Btw part 2: anyone caught with the manga? I am :'(**

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**Chapter 5**

It was two in the morning. She still sat there, on her bed, all the lights off in her apartment save for a tiny lamp on her bedside table. Next to it, the bouquet sat, its magnificence an almost comical contrast to its dull and dusty counterpart(most of Ayame's furniture came from various garage sales that had conveniently taken place in the last month).

Even in this dim lighting the flowers' vibrant colors illuminated like they were under the sunshine of a midsummer day. Ayame stared at them for hours, appreciating their beauty, wondering about their origin. _There's no way the supermarket sells flowers like these…_She kept repeating to herself in her mind. She could have stayed up all night just basking in their radiance, but that's not what happened. No…because her thoughts and attention inevitably shift to the note she found tucked in the bouquet's decorative wrapping.

Yes…the note. The note that was signed by the mysterious 'J.U.' who was apologizing to her for who knows what. Who was ashamed to face her again after so long…and who still loved her. She looked at the note, eyes searing over the neat and even letters, the subtle but elegant bordering on the thick paper, and the initials…

It was killing Ayame how everything could seem so familiar even though she knew nothing about it. She felt like it wasn't the first time he apologized to her, but could not remember why the apology was needed. Even the initials "J.U." left the sound of a certain name at the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't fully recall it. Ayame knew that she should probably be at least a little more alarmed about this situation. Not only does this unknown man know where she works, but also where she lives...and he's leaving her strange notes.

But this doesn't scare her. After all, the man probably knew her before the accident at the river. Maybe he could tell her about her past…maybe he was who she meant to return to. She was more fearful about finding the truth…what did this mysterious man do to her that he was so ashamed of? Even though she couldn't remember him, she could feel deep down inside - call it intuition - that she loved this man very much…and that he loved her. So how could she throw him out like that?

There has to be a reason his shame is so great. He must've done something really bad to her…but what? Could she really hold it against him if she didn't remember? If the old her couldn't forgive him, then could the new?

Furthermore, _why_ couldn't she remember? They found her washed up on the side of Karasu River, but never reported any head injuries or things like that. No one came looking for her, and Ayame couldn't find any missing persons reports of people with descriptions even remotely similar to her. Could her lost memories have anything to do with that man?

"Ugh!" She continues to make incoherent sounds as she has a mini fit in her bed, throwing the card on the floor. The clock now read 3:21am and Ayame decided she needed to get some sleep. Tomorrow she was working an earlier shift so she could spend her afternoon shopping. She didn't have a lot of clothes and doing laundry twice a week wasn't exactly practical. Ayame could honestly care less, but fashion seemed to be important to people around here, thus a planned afternoon at the mall with Kei was born. She knew it probably wasn't a good idea to plan a shopping day with a teenager, but she couldn't imagine having to do it with Kisuke or Tessai, and Kei was literally one of the only other people she knew. Plus, Ayame didn't know much about shopping herself.

It was a good thing that Ayame would be working earlier. She got a feeling that the man was the discreet type. He wouldn't show up early in the morning, when people are out and about and work is busy, so she could do her job without constantly worrying about when he'd appear next. The mall would also be too crowded for someone like him. Ayame just had a feeling that he was this way. The next time they'd meet, if he had the courage to return to her( if he was able to do it once, Ayame was sure he'd do it again ), she would confront him. Interrogate him. Find out about her past and what he did to her, then she'd make her decision.

A certain relief washes over Ayame after she finally thinks it all through, quickly followed by a wave of drowsiness. She'd do her best to make the most out of the three and a half hours of sleep that awaited her, and use it to be ready for whatever was in store for her the next day.

And sadly, a few hours later…

"Hello ma'am! Did you find everything okay?" A curt nod, no eye contact. _She must be having one of those days too_, Ayame thought as she started scanning and bagging the items of her latest customer. She had dark circles under her eyes and a certain heaviness in her movements. Ayame guessed she probably didn't look much better, despite how good she was at faking it(another one of the strange talents she discovered she had). Once she had the last item scanned she read the woman her total. She handed Ayame the money, and Ayame returned her change. Another curt nod and the woman was gone.

Ayame sighs, her cheeks sore from several hours of employee smiling. She switches off the 'Cash Register Open' sign and makes her way to the locker room. It seems Kei beat her there.

"Wow Miss A, you didn't work overtime today. I was hoping to get at least a few more minutes of relaxing time back here but-whoa! You look so tired! Just look at those bags! " Kei finally exclaims when she turns around to look at Ayame.

"Yeah yeah, you're not supposed to point out people flaws the moment you see them, ya know. I'm just a little sleepy, hurry up and get ready to go-"

"Wait, are you tired because of _him_?!" Kei exclaims again. Seriously, did this girl have _any_ volume control? And wait, what did she just ask?

For a moment Ayame doesn't respond, because Kei was right in a way. Ayame had gotten little sleep because she was thinking about the mysterious man all night, trying to remember him...to remember _anything_. But she got a feeling that that wasn't quite what Kei meant, what with her unwavering insistence that Ayame went on a date with him last night. That, and the fact that teen screamed out at the top of her lungs:

"Miss A! Come on, you have to be more discreet than this! I'm still young and innocent!" Kei's face turns red as she says this. Ayame sighs again.

" Look Kei, you're right. You _are_ just a kid, but you are FAR from innocent. Why would you come to such a conclusion?! You're the one making up inappropriate stories about me in your head for no reason! I told you yesterday that I didn't know that guy...but-" Kei, now more composed, cuts her off again.

"But you were lying? I _knew _it-" This time Ayame interrupts.

"No Kei, be quiet for once!" Ayame accidentally snaps at the girl, her insufficient amount of sleep causing her to have little patience." I was _going_ to say that yesterday, I told you I didn't know him, but last night I realized….it's not that I don't know him. It's that I don't _remember_ him. I was up late thinking about why he seemed so familiar but at the same time didn't, and that was the conclusion I came to."

Kei's eyes blink a few times and confusion fills her features. She didn't know about Ayame's story...how she was found on a riverbank memory-less and alone. Kei couldn't comprehend how someone could completely forget about the existence of another. Then she comes to a conclusion.

"Oh I see! Childhood friends, maybe? Miss A that's soooo cute! Playground friends at last reunited as long lost lovers! I can see it now...why didn't you say so earlier? Okay I'll let it go so we can get to the mall already." Kei says cheerily, squealing to herself as she runs to her locker to put away her uniform and collect her belongings.

Ayame decided she'd let Kei stick to her own interpretation of the story. It wouldn't do Ayame any good to try to get her to fully understand anyway, especially when Ayame didn't really know what was going on herself. She'd just enjoy her time with Kei at the mall. Or so she thought.

Kei was a monster when it came to shopping. She had good taste, but she tended to only like the items that were the last of their kind and kept getting in fights with other teenage girls who had also spotted the rare articles. Kei was the more aggressive though, and would usually win, but the result was them having to run to the next store before they were chased down by a mob of angry teenage girls.

And hold on...Kei was supposed to be there to help _Ayame_ shop, not the other way around! So far all Ayame had done was watch Kei try on outfit after outfit and hold her many bags...what was this!? Finally Ayame couldn't take it anymore.

"Kei?" She asked, forcing her voice to sound calm.

"Yes Miss A? Oh I know what you're about to say, 'that skirt is so not your color,Kei.' I was thinking that too but was waiting for a second opinion. Please hold this while I-"

"Kei!" She shouts, all her frustration pouring out. Ayame can't help but think that this must be what it feels like to have a real younger sister. She continues, "First of all, I have no way of holding it because I'm already holding a ton of your stuff. Second, I asked you here to help _me_ shop...I would have been fine with you shopping too a little, but that's ALL you've been doing!"

Ayame immediately regrets her outburst after seeing Kei's facial expression. Her lips are bent in an unnatural pout and her eyes are beginning to water. _Oh no! Did I really make Kei cry? _Ayame thinks, big sister mode shifting into gear.

"I'm sorry Kei, I didn't mean it! Don't cry...that skirt looks great on you! You should get it. Look, I can hold that for you if you put it right here-whoa!" Ayame was trying to grab the extra bag that Kei had in her hand but, due to the insane amount of bags she was already carrying, loses her balance and falls rather ungracefully in front of the sniffling teen. In seconds the sniffles turn into laughter...this wasn't exactly how Ayame was trying to get Kei to stop crying, but she supposed it would do.

Eventually even Ayame had to join in on the laughter. When they both calm down Kei apologizes to Ayame. "I'm sorry Miss A...I guess I'm used to shopping for myself more...but don't worry! I forgot to tell you that all the bags you were carrying in your left hand are for you." She finishes with a close eyed smile.

"Huh...for me? But I didn't even try anything on." Ayame says confusedly.

"Yeah but I have a good eye! I know your size and what would look good on you, trust me! And I'm happy to buy them for you, you've been such a good big sister to me." Kei says, helping Ayame up and pulling her into a big hug. "I'm an only child so I never knew what that was like...thank you, Miss A."

Damn, now Ayame was going to cry."Jeez kid, you're bringing tears to my eyes now! I'm sorry for yelling at you..." She says, pulling back to ruffle the teen's hair.

"It's all good, Miss A. But there's one thing…"Kei trails off, a mischievous glint in her eye.

Ayame swallows loudly,nervous about what was coming. "Kei, don't ruin a good moment. What is it?"

"Trust me, Miss A. I'm not ruining anything! It's just...well. I was thinking. You're going to be dating soon, right? I mean you're childhood love has finally returned, but I have feeling you don't really have any date _outfits_. So…." Kei starts sifting through the huge stack of clothes she has slung over her arm. Ayame tries to protest before Kei finds whatever she was looking for.

"Look we aren't childhood loves or anything, why do you kee-" Ayame abruptly stops when Kei finds the hidden item. It's a beautiful, purple dress. It's strapless with a modest neckline...the material is light and flowing and pulls in at the waist. It looked like it showed off enough to impress but still maintain an air of modesty. Ayame wasn't really a fan of dresses, she even avoided wearing shorts if possible. But this one...it was breathtaking.

Kei's giggling breaks Ayame from her trance. "Who knew Miss A liked dresses too? Or maybe I'm just that good! I have a rule about dresses though. They can look absolutely stunning by themselves, but you absolutely _have to_ try them on or you'll never really know. I'm pretty confident but even I would like to see you try this one on!"

"Kei...it's beautiful but...I can't try that on. Just looking at it makes my pockets hurt. Where did you even find that?" Ayame questions, eyes never leaving the dress.

"I have my ways...and look at you! You already love it! I bet _he'll_ love it too! And as for the price...we'll talk about it after you try it on. Here." Kei shoves the dress into Ayame's hands and gives her a small push in the direction of the changing rooms. Meanwhile Kei starts organizing all of the bags that Ayame had dropped just moments ago.

"But Kei-"

"I don't want to hear it Miss A! I'll admit it _is_ expensive, but you have to at least try it on. Maybe we can save up for it, but just go! I'll be right here. Call me when you're ready for me to see it."

Ayame reluctantly complies and makes her way to the changing rooms. An older woman with silver hair and a pleasant smile sits at a table in front of the rooms, obviously the employee responsible for this area. "Well hello there young lady! How many items?"

"Just one," Ayame answers, reflecting her happy tone. She shows the woman the dress.

"How beautiful! Here's a number, please go ahead and use the furthest room on the right." She says, still smiling brightly.

"Thank you! I'll be on my way." She takes the number and heads to the room. Once there she almost jumps in surprise when she is completely surrounded by mirrors. It's a strange feeling...even though she's the only one there, it's like she's on some kind of stage just waiting for people to judge her….to scrutinize her from every angle. It's uncomfortable.

_Who really cares about appearances anyways? And it's not like I'm going on a date with that guy! I just need to find out the truth from him..._Ayame thinks as she begins undressing. She avoids her reflection, not wanting to give herself any reasons to start scrutinizing her own body. Once de-clothed, she looks at the dress.

_Hmmm...how do you even put this on? _She couldn't see a zipper of any sort...nor any bows or strings that would give her any idea of how to wear it. Maybe she should just...slip it on? So that's what she does, or what she tries to do, at least. There was a moment when the tiniest part of the waist got stuck on her hips and she struggled a bit, but after a few minutes and a lot of, uh, clenching, she gets the dress on. _Probably should have put it on overhead instead of under...oh well!_

Ayame can't help but do a small happy dance at her victory. "Me 1, dress 0!" She whisper yells. Then she takes a deep breath, preparing to look at herself in the mirror. She nearly gasps.

Ayame wouldn't call herself conceited. After all, like she pointed out earlier, she isn't really a stickler for appearances. _There are other, more important things that we should remember and appreciate about people,_ Ayame always thought.

But this dress was meant for her. It just...fit her perfectly. It hugged all the right areas and showed just the right amount of skin. The light material felt good, and when she twirled it fanned out beautifully, revealing a second, slightly lighter shade hidden beneath the carefully-made creases. The color of the dress, the most vivid shade of violet, brought out Ayame's eyes in a way that she felt she was looking at them for the first time_. That kid Kei really has a talent...I've got to thank her. _Ayame thinks.

Taking one last look at herself, she prepares to call Kei over, not wanting to walk all the way out into the store in such an eye-catching dress(once again, not conceited thoughts, Ayame just knew that even _she_ would stare at such a lovely dress no matter who wore it).

"Kei! I'm ready for you now! Please come over and look at the dress!" Ayame yells and waits a few seconds. Nothing happens. She yells again.

"Kei come on! I don't want to wear this for longer than I have to!" That was only partly true...the dress was actually quite comfortable. But still, silence. Ayame was now growing worried. She cracks the dressing room door open and sticks her head out, yelling once more.

"Kei?! This isn't funny, please come out now!" Ayame was certain that she was disrupting the store by now, but she didn't care. Kei better get here or else. But still...nothing. What was going on? Did Kei leave somewhere? She told her she was going to wait right there...and there's no way she could have gone far with all those bags. Was she ignoring her?

No longer worried about attracting attention with the dress, Ayame stuffs the clothes she was wearing in her bag and storms up to the old woman that showed her to her dressing room. Glancing around she sees that Kei is nowhere to be found, bags and all. She feels herself begin to panic.

Tapping the lady on the shoulder she asks, "Excuse me ma'am, have you a seen a young girl, about sixteen, with her hair in ponytails and this tall," she gestures with her hands, "waiting out here?"

"Why yes! She was with you wasn't she? You were taking so long, hohoho…" she laughs a jolly laugh. Ayame didn't really have to time to play nice with her...the lady was taking too long to reveal information.

"Well okay yeah, I had some trouble with the dress, but where did she go? Did you see her leave the store?"

"Well...yes I did! She's such a cute girl...your little sister? No you don't look much ali-" Ayame cuts her off.

"Where'd she go! Please stop losing focus." Ayame interrupts, losing all politeness. She had to know that Kei was alright. She's still a kid, and she was Ayame's responsibility this afternoon.

"Oh yes yes….I'm sorry young lady! Hohohoho….I just ramble sometimes, hoho. Must be my old age! A handsome man with long, white hair came in and helped her carry her bags away. That's right! He told me to tell you to go straight to the checkout area once you came out the dressing room."

Ayame's eyes widen at the woman's words...the man was _here_?! And he _took_ Kei?! Maybe she didn't know this man...maybe he was just some creep out to get her! And she got poor Kei mixed up in this. This is horrible! She thanks the frustrating old woman and sprints to the checkout area. Luckily there was no line, but neither Kei nor the white-haired man were anywhere to be seen.

She looks around and sees a cashier waving her down for some reason...maybe he's seen Kei! She runs to him and demands, "Where's Kei?!"

The boy looks a bit scared as he takes in Ayame's distressed appearance, but quickly gets himself together. He smiles that employee smile Ayame knows so well and says, "Please calm down, ma'am. I was told by a man who says he knows you that all will be revealed once you open this box. I'm guessing that you are Ayame Ikeda?"

She nods fiercely and snatches the box from the boy. He yelps a little when she takes it but doesn't resist. Ayame tears the top off without hesitation, praying it has some kind of clue as to where Kei went. If anything happens to her….to hell with finding out about her past. She'll kill this man herself!

But the box contains two things. The first, a pair of purple heels that match perfectly with the dress she was wearing. What was this man trying to do? Or was this all Kei's doing! Only Kei would have the taste and knowledge of her shoe size to pick out such a pair….what was going on?

This brings Ayame to item number two in the box: a note. It's written on the same kind of paper, with the same handwriting...as _that_ note. _His_ note. And this time, it read:

_Dear Ayame,_

_Sorry if I scared you a bit this time, but please don't worry. I promise you that miss Kei is safe. I would really appreciate if you would meet me at the front of the store. See you soon(hopefully),_

_-J.U._

This guy….is he serious?! Just what was he thinking! Who is he and why is he doing this? And the tone of this note is completely different than the last one. Before he seemed racked with guilt and regret - he seemed like he would never show his face to her again. Now he's kidnapping Ayame's friends so he can get her to himself?!

She's going to kill him. Like she decided earlier, to hell with her backstory. To hell with deciding whether she'd forgive him or not after finding out the truth. He was going to get it.

"I'm going to kill that bastard!" Ayame screams out loud. "Right after I change out of this crap." She finishes, not wanting to become a thief and killer at the same time.

"Actually ma'am, the dress and shoes are already paid for. You seem like you're in a hurry so...I suggest you just go ahead and go to him." The cashier laughs nervously, obviously trying to get rid of a crazy customer as soon as possible.

Ayame snorts at the man's audacity. Kidnap Kei and buy her nice clothes all in the same day, what is he getting at?! Noting her bare feet - Ayame had forgotten to put back on her shoes back at the dressing room - she throws the two shoes on the floor roughly and puts them on. Then she throws the box with the note on the floor and kicks it. "Stupid!" And storms to the store's front exit.

She ignores the gasps and 'awws' from people watching her as she nearly sprints her way outside, likely as amazed by the beauty of the dress as she was just moments ago. Ayame didn't care if she was getting attention, she had someone's ass to kick.

Nearly to the door, she could see him now. He stood just outside rocking nervously on his heels, glancing at his wrist every now and then. _Nervous waiting for me, are you? Well you should be! _Ayame thinks, readying herself for attack.

But then he does something that causes her to stop...the thick screen of red clouding her eyes quickly fading away. It is a simple action, but it captured her completely, even through the massive glass door that still separated the two.

A small child throwing a fit runs away from his mom as she screams for him to come back, unable to chase after him due to another precious bundle being held securely in her arms. The child is about to run right into the white-haired man, but before he can the man swoops down and picks the crying child up. He scolds him gently before returning him to his exhausted mother. She smiles at him gratefully and he returns it, waving to them as they walk away. It was such a warm and gentle interaction...

Then he turns around to face the glass door, just noticing Ayame's presence.

Ayame growls to herself as she exits the store, her anger returning now that the man no longer had an innocent child in his arms. Throwing her bag down on the ground, she ignores the contagious smile that graces his lips as she rushes towards him. As she gets closer and closer, however, he seems to finally understand her malicious intent and steps back a little, but it was too late. Ayame had already formed a tight fist that was now hurtling towards his face. Through her rage Ayame was numb to all but the swishing sound of air...followed by the thud of an impact. She watches on coldly as the man clutches his nose and grimaces in pain. Then before he can speak she grabs him by his arm and drags him into a more secluded area: an alley between two stores. Ayame shoves him roughly against a wall and shouts, "Who the HELL are you and where the HELL is Kei?!"

* * *

**Author's Note part 2: Oh no! Poor Ukitake...Ayame is so violent! But seriously, what was he thinking? Ukitake obviously didn't plan very well...stick around for the next chapter too see exactly how this situation came to be hehe**

**Also, sorry for the rambleyness!**


	8. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Ukitake will admit it...he didn't really think this one through. He was trying to be bold and spontaneous…"like a man" as Shunsui had put it. He didn't think that it would turn out this way. But it did…and Ukitake has no idea how to fix it.

He almost had a heart attack when he saw Ayame emerge from the "mall" - Ukitake learned the name of the strange, overstimulating collection of stores and food places - looking so angry. He also noticed how stunning she looked in the purple dress he bought for her (with the help of Kei, of course). She even wore the matching heels well...her gait graceful and alluring even though her eyes were filled with the intent to kill.

Ukitake couldn't help the huge smile that makes its way to his face at such a beautiful sight...Ayame was dazzling even when furious. Even in their earliest interactions, many years ago, he always admired that light in her eyes when she became passionate about something.

But now isn't the time to be dwelling on Ayame's appearance! He had to fix this...and from the tight fist she was forming with her right hand Ukitake guessed he should also dodge the strong punch that otherwise awaited him. He tries to take a step back but he knew it was too late. He watches in slow motion as her fist inches closer and closer…

Okay...how _exactly_ did he get in this situation again? Just a few hours earlier he arrived at the supermarket where Ayame was _supposed_ to be working. He showed up at the same time as before and was confused when he couldn't see her at any of the checkout areas.

So he wandered around the store, checking to see if she switched stations for the day...maybe she was putting up a display or stocking the aisles? He tried to do so without making it obvious that he was looking for someone, but he must have failed because it didn't take long for him to be approached by another employee. It was a short man with glasses and a nasally voice. Ukitake recalled Ayame speaking to him briefly during his first visit. This man is her manager.

"Hello sir, may I help you? It looks like you're looking for something." The man said pleasantly, though his expression suggested otherwise. Ukitake thought about whether he should be outright and tell the man he was looking for Ayame, or lie and continue to wander around until he found her himself. He was about to go with his second option until Shunsui's words echoed in his head again: _Be a man, Ukitake! Be bold and spontaneous...don't miss any chance you get to see her and don't waste any time. _

Right...it would be a waste of time to lie.

"Hello sir. I...was actually looking for one of your employees. If I am not mistaken, Ayame Ikeda works here, correct?" Ukitake finally says after much deliberation, trying to act natural and not like he was trying to reforge a relationship with his long lost love.

The small man looks at Ukitake for a moment, eyes burning through him as he seems to be sizing him up. Judging him, warning him, like an overprotective father. Ukitake would have never have guessed the man to be the protective type...furthermore, he didn't seem close enough to Ayame to have some sense of responsibility for her. But Ayame was always a charismatic person, drawing people in even when they themselves weren't aware of it and making them feel like they knew her for an eternity regardless of the length of their acquaintanceship. After all, she had done the same to him.

Ukitake felt a little uneasy about the man before him feeling so protective over Ayame, but concluded that he should be happy that she had people looking out for her. Finally, the man spoke.

"I would be more than happy to disclose this information, but first I must know your relationship with miss Ayame….her boyfriend, I suppose?" The man asks, amusement filling his features when he witnesses Ukitake's blush as he chokes on absolutely nothing upon hearing his question.

How was Ukitake going to answer this one? He didn't really have a relationship with her yet..,he could say he was an old friend, maybe? _Be bold and spontaneous, Ukitake!_ His friends words return to him. He was ready to answer.

Laughing nervously, he says "Haha - not yet,sir. But if fate is kind to me, then hopefully soon..." Ukitake couldn't believe he would give such an answer. Especially after all he'd done to Ayame...but he could make things right this time. He could make it better...Like Shunsui said, Ayame's lost memories are his opportunity. He will replace each and every one with happy memories.

The man smiles knowingly, finally seeming to have accepted Ukitake. Ukitake felt a strange wave of relief at this for some reason, as if the man's opinion of him really mattered.

"Very well, mister….?"

"Ukitake. Jushiro Ukitake."

"Okay, Ukitake. Miss Ayame worked an early shift today, her and another employee named Kei. They requested an early work shift so that they could spend the afternoon 'shoooooppiiiing' *the man says in a cringeworthy singsong voice* as retold in the exact style of Kei. I presume they went to the mall." He finishes, clearly losing interest in this conversation.

Ukitake thanks the man before heading out for the so-called 'mall' to find Ayame. And this, he supposed, was where the madness began.

It didn't take him long to find the two, possibly because Kei could literally be seen sprinting between stores with large groups of other young girls angrily shouting after her. That, and the fact that Ayame was left lugging a ridiculously large amount of bags just behind the girl. It angered Ukitake that no one stepped up to offer Ayame help when she was obviously struggling. He would have done so, but he had to remain hidden.

So he watched on, chuckling despite himself when Ayame would clumsily follow behind Kei and send her dirty looks, obviously annoyed at being forced to carry everything. He contemplated how this turn of events would affect his plans. He had wanted to confront her at the supermarket, try to somehow convince her to meet with him for coffee or a meal where he would explain himself. It wasn't exactly a _date_ yet….but he figured he would have to sort some things out before he got to that stage. Like his weird appearance that day….and his note.

So as he watched on, he observed that although Kei was doing all the actual shopping, she _was_ taking time to pick out clothing for Ayame. There were definitely two distinct styles she was searching for, and one of them, from what he could recall about Ayame's tastes, was definitely for Ayame. The simple designs and dark colors would suit her perfectly. He smirked to himself - a very un-Ukitake like thing to do - when he presumed that Ayame herself didn't notice this and would eventually lose her patience with the hyper teen. For some reason he really wanted to witness that moment.

And he did. It was in one of the larger department stores that sold a large range of clothing. Anything from pajamas to business suits to elegant gowns for who-knows-what. He watched as Ayame waited irritatedly for Kei near the dressing rooms while Kei ran from section to section picking out clothes for them both. Ukitake also noticed when Kei spent a significant amount of time in the gown section and wondered what inspired such a change in the clothing style she was searching for.

But then he saw it. A purple dress. _The_ purple dress...the one absolutely made for Ayame. He could already see how the color would compliment her eyes, the style revealing the amazing figure she hid too often. _Really, me?! I never realized I was such a pervert..._He thinks to himself, but it is too late. As the young teen smirks, knowing she picked the perfect dress for an unsuspecting Ayame, Ukitake already had an elaborate plan set up in his mind.

He was going to get Ayame into the dress, and he was going to take her on a date while she was wearing it. He could just imagine how her smooth, tan skin would glow in contrast to the dress during a candle-lit dinner. And the image was more tantalizing than Ukitake would care to admit. _But in the face of love_, Ukitake borrowed the words of his best friend, _nothing is too bold or outrageous!_

So he pulled out the pamphlet he picked up from one of the many beautiful eateries he'd encountered during his, well, stalking session in the mall(Ukitake is not proud of his recent behavior, but he won't deny it, either). He was going to try to save this one for later, but couldn't think of a better place for Ayame to wear such a beautiful dress. Using the cellphone that the ever mysterious Shunsui somehow got his hands on, he made a reservation for dinner for two at 8pm, amazed that he was actually able to do so with such little notice. The trickiest part of his plan occurred when Ayame, very reluctantly, left Kei behind to actually try the dress on.

From that point on, he had to be quick. As soon as Ayame was out of sight he approached the young teen. He wasn't exactly sure how he should introduce himself but found that it was unnecessary once Kei laid eyes on him. In fact, he almost regretted trying to speak to her after the insane amount of squeals and giggles left the teens lips as she shouted, "OH MY GOD! Miss A was totally lying! You're totally her secret boyfriend, aren't you?! I KNEW it!"

Ukitake was afraid that Ayame would hear her and give him away, but somehow she didn't. Furthermore, she was taking quite some time in dressing room. _She probably doesn't have much experience wearing dresses..._Ukitake thought to himself. Then he returned to Kei, somehow keeping himself composed.

"Well...not exactly..not _yet _anyways…" He once again startled himself with his boldness, but he'd already gone so far. Why stop now? "Well, sure. Yes...and I actually planned a surprise dinner for her tonight. Do you think you could help me out?" He asked, rubbing the back of his neck in a nervous gesture and flashing a close eyed smile. A few seconds of silence passed and Ukitake almost thought she was going to decline, but she finally answered.

"OF COURSE! Who am I to interfere with love?! What do you need me for? How much time we got? And btw, you're a total cutie. I love the long hair! You seem nice too...Miss A's got good taste!" She responded cheerily, for once not screaming _every_ sentence. Just every other one…

He explained his plan to her quickly.., asking her if she wouldn't mind leaving Ayame behind with him for their dinner and offering to pay for her cab ride home. She nodded eagerly, but explained about the purple dress and that Ayame was still trying it on. He told her he already knew about it and was going to purchase it for her. She smiled, obviously happy that she was correct in guessing that the white-haired man would like the dress and babbled on about her superb taste as he helped her lug her stuff to the cab waiting for her at the store front.

On the way, however, her superb taste rose to fame again when she stumbled upon what she believed was the perfect pair of heels for the purple dress. She insisted that he _had_ to buy them as well, so as he waved a grateful goodbye to the teen, he promised that he would. He had more than enough money...Shunsui made sure of that, somehow locating a currency exchange center in the Rukongai for the Soul Society's Kan and Japan's Yen. And Ukitake wasn't exactly a poor man back in the Soul Society.

At that point, it was a matter of running up to the checkout area and purchasing the shoes and dress. Ukitake explained that he was surprising his, uh, lady friend to a special dinner and that he was going to buy her these shoes along with a dress she'd most likely already be wearing once she approached him. He gave him a description of her appearance and general fiery demeanor so that there was no way he'd mistake her. He had also explained to the older woman near the dressing room his plan so that Ayame would know where to go once she was done and realized Kei was no longer there.

He figured he'd started a tradition with the first note, so he left another one with the cashier, making sure to apologize for the distress he was sure this unexpected situation would cause her. But he would not have predicted this outcome…

Time seems to pick back up again after Ukitake feels Ayame's fist slam into his nose. He thanks God the punch wasn't hard enough to break it(he knew Ayame was perfectly capable of doing so), but automatically recoils in pain. He can already feel a steady stream of blood starting to trickle from his nostrils as he is yanked by the ridiculously strong, smaller woman and shoved into a wall away from the eyes of curious onlookers.

Although he was in obvious pain, although he knew he upset the woman before him beyond reason, Ukitake wasn't sure how to feel at that moment. She was livid...but she was also beautiful. She stood before him with the same confidence and fire in her eyes as those years ago, before the tragedy in district 81. Even as she screamed and shouted at him to reveal his identity, to tell her what he did with Kei, to demand he tell her what he wanted from her, all he could do was stare in awe into those amazing eyes.

After she's done yelling, a few moments of silence pass between them. Ukitake can't help it when his eyes take this time to fully drink in her appearance, starting from appreciating the way her wild, slightly wavy hair fell past her shoulders and gently tickled her collarbone, down to the way the dress modestly hugged her curves and finally to how the heels highlighted her toned legs. She was more than stunning.

Ukitake is once again pulled from his stupor at Ayame's next outburst, but can't help but acknowledge that it is completely justified.

"Are you SERIOUS?! I kick your ass and demand you to tell me who you are and what you've done with Kei, and you _check me out_ as a _response_?! You're absolutely disgusting!" She yells in disbelief, despite a faint tinge of pink that Ukitake can't help but notice dust her cheeks.

Ukitake momentarily forgets about his nosebleed and raises his hands in an apology, finally responding to Ayame's words. This was not how he wanted her to perceive him! This was beyond a step back from where he left off with her those years ago.

"N-no! Please don't misunderstand me, it's not that I promise! I mean, you look amazing, b-but I-" She cuts him off.

"Look, just answer my questions. First tell me where Kei is, then I'll decide if we should proceed. Now spill." She looks at him with a frown and crosses her arms in front of her chest. Despite himself, Ukitake can't help but feel giddy at this image of Ayame. It reminds him of the past. Most people, even those with the harshest temperaments, would unconsciously soften themselves around Ukitake, not having it in themselves to be rude to such a 'nice guy'( as everyone called him). Ayame, however, made no exceptions and even Ukitake often fell victim to her fierceness. Oddly, he liked that about her.

"I paid for a cab to drive her home. If you have her number, you can call her to ensure her safety. I promise you that I would never harm you or anyone you hold dear." _Never again._ Ukitake silently adds, pouring every ounce of sincerity he owns into his words.

Ayame narrows her eyes and opens her mouth, probably to demand proof, but before she can do so almost as if on cue the high pitch buzz of a ringtone sounds in the background. He watches as Ayame pauses and pulls a cellphone out of her bag. _When did she pick it back up? _Ukitake thinks to himself as he watches her read what he assumes is a text message from Kei(he learned quite a lot about the world of the living these last few days). He notices how Ayame's tense shoulders immediately relax and her breathing slows. A small smile graces her lips as she returns the message, probably scolding the girl for giving her a heart attack and collaborating with Ukitake.

Then her attention settles back on him. She gives him a long, thoughtful look and all Ukitake can do is hold it. Finally a dry, humorless laugh escapes her lips and she speaks.

"So now that _that's_ settled, I have a few things to say to you. First, you really need to clean yourself up. You're starting to actually look like the pervert you've proved yourself to be a few minutes ago. Second," she pauses and watches as Ukitake's hands frantically return to his bleeding nose as if he's just remembered his injury. "I know….that I knew you before. Before my accident at the river...when I lost all my memories. I don't understand why you're being all strange and mysterious...but I don't have it in me to be afraid of you or to not trust you. So I've decided I'll give you a chance. I'll hear you out." She finishes with a heavy sigh.

Ukitake looks at her with wide eyes. He wasn't aware of _that_ part of her story. He knew she'd lost her memories but...just what story did the exiled former squad 12 captain fill her head with?

Well...Ukitake didn't have time to find out. He'd just have to tailor the story he had already come up with to fit her own. This shouldn't be too difficult...after all, he was already this close to his long lost love. Through boldness and spontaneity he'd made it this far...so why stop now?

Once again smiling despite himself, he answers.

"Perhaps we could discuss this...over dinner?"

* * *

**Author's Note: Took long enough for the _real_ date, right? Sorry for all the rambleyness of the last few chapters but there should be some good plot progression in the next few. Plus, what story do you guys think Ukitake made up? Stay tuned to find out! Once again thanks to all who have decided to read this far : )**


	9. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

This man was amazing her more and more by the minute, positively or otherwise. Ayame had grudgingly agreed to have dinner with him after he promised to clean himself up. She stalked behind him as she instructed him to the restrooms located in the department store, ignoring the looks from the young cashier from earlier. As she waited outside for him to finish, stomping her foot impatiently, she couldn't help but feel a little bad for punching him. Despite his bold and erratic behavior, Ayame could tell that he was actually a very kind and gentle man. His smile alone caused a strange, warm sensation in the pit of Ayame's stomach.

She tried to shake the thought away as she watched him emerge from the men's bathroom with a damp paper towel pressed to his face. She sighs in mild irritation when she notices that he hasn't properly cleaned all the blood up and on instinct takes the paper towel from him to finish the job. As she grabs his chin between two strong fingers and pulls him down eye level with her, she ignores the twinkle in his green eyes and slight blush on his cheeks and cleans his face.

Once she's done, she smiles at him. "There we go. Jeez, you'd think a grown man would know how to clean himself! Then again, you seem to be doing a lot of things wrong today." She gently pats his cheek before pushing him back and throwing away the dirty paper towel. She then lets him lead her to the restaurant, walking slightly behind him and observing him.

She couldn't help but appraise the man's appearance as he walks just a few steps ahead of her. Apparently her memory of him from their first encounter at the supermarket didn't do him justice. He had his long, ivory hair - perhaps his most prominent feature - tied back in a low ponytail that just reached his waist. _Jeez this guy's hair is longer than mine! And I bet it's silkier too..._As she thinks this her hand unconsciously reaches out to touch his swaying locks, but she snatches it back before making contact. _That was close!_

Back to his appearance. And she's just doing this for her memories' sake, right? The man donned a light jacket that he wore open over a white fitted shirt and dark pants. Even through his modest clothing Ayame could tell he had a muscular and toned physique. He had a straight, sure walk that was also somehow humble. Ayame was quite enjoying observing him from behind, so much that she didn't notice when he abruptly stopped and turned to face her. As a result she collided with the man, her face crashing into a solid chest and arms flailing as she felt them both begin to lose their balance.

"Ahh!" Ayame yelps as she foresees their fall, but then she feels strong arms wrap around her as the man quickly steadies them both. She sighs in relief and feels her body relax into him as she says aloud, "Well that was close! You should really warn people when you-" She cuts herself off when she pulls back to look the man in the eyes and finds herself caught.

It was a feeling similar to earlier, when she first saw him at the supermarket. Staring into his eyes she could tell she'd done it before. His features, though striking, were undoubtedly familiar. She'd looked into these eyes many times. She feels her face pinch into a squint and she unconsciously leans forward, trying to see if an even closer look might spark something in her memory.

Then suddenly the man speaks and breaks Ayame's concentration, pulling her back to the current situation. She still remained in his firm grip, her arms also clinging onto him, their faces only an inch apart. She could feel his warm breath as he said her name.

"A-Ayame? Is everything okay?" He stumbles over his words, sounding a bit flustered. Ayame's eyes widen and she wrenches herself away from him. She keeps her eyes glued to the ground as she yells back at the man, not wanting him to see her blush.

"What the heck! Why didn't you just let go of me after we were steady?! Are you really a pervert?!" She could feel her body trembling and her heart racing as a multitude of emotions coursed through her. Why did thinking about him, seeing him,and just being near him stir so many things in her? Even that time in the store she felt more than shock when she laid eyes on the mysterious man. Yes, there was the familiarity...there was also happiness and relief somewhere within her, like she was seeing a loved one after a long time. And then there was...the sorrow. A dull ache in her chest that she couldn't pinpoint the cause of. Just now, their proximity was too much. Those emotions returned at full force, dazing and confusing Ayame and causing her to lash out at the man.

"And who are you anyways?! Why have you been such a creep?! Why'd you leave those stupid flowers and that stupid note that made it impossible for me to sleep?! Why-" She was going to continue but feels a warm hand gently grip her shoulder.

"Ayame, please calm down. I am sorry for my recent behavior….but I promise I'll tell everything you need to know."

Ayame takes a few deep breaths as she lets the man's reassuring words and soothing voice sink in. Finally she slowly tilts her head up to meet his eyes. When she almost gets lost in their familiar green yet again, she asks in a quiet voice.

"Why...does seeing you make me feel this way?" Almost as soon as the words leave her mouth she sees how the man's resolve completely shatters. His hand falls limply from her shoulder and his eyes fill with pain. In a broken voice he says:

"Ayame...I shouldn't have come back to you. I knew it from the start...I don't have any right to see you...or to even think your name. It was selfish of me to come back...to stir these emotions that were hidden deep within you," He pauses, tearing his eyes away from Ayame's. "But I am a weak man...I couldn't resist the temptation of being able to see you again. These words mean nothing, but I am so-" Ayame cuts him off this time.

"Okay...so judging from your words I _definitely_ already know you. I don't know what you did to me, but we're having this dinner so we can talk it out, right? This'll be one hell of a meal...but I agreed to it. I'm sorry for getting so shaken up for a minute but I'm better now. Hurry up and take us there. _Then_ you can break down on me." Her voice regains its usual hardness. She now looks at him head on, refusing to avoid his gaze like some weakling just because it stirred up strong emotions. Maybe _he _would admit his weakness, but Ayame would be damned if she did the same. Kei is safe. The man is not a threat, at least not in the conventional sense, and Ayame already decided that she'd hear him out. This is her chance to find out the truth..and maybe where she belongs(or at least where she used to belong).

She watches as the man lets out a heavy sigh and closes his eyes, clearly thinking about(and likely regretting) his latest actions. A few seconds pass and he reopens them, meeting Ayame's hard stare once again. He gives her a weak smile and says, "You've always been better at that than me...getting yourself back together even when you feel like you're falling apart. You truly are a strong woman. Please follow me, the restaurant is just a few more steps this way." He turns and continues to walk ahead of Ayame. Like before, she keeps her eyes locked on the man and observes him from behind, wondering what kind of past they must have had that made just being near one another such an emotional rollercoaster.

She didn't have to wonder long. They had literally been a few steps from the restaurant, reaching their destination in less than a minute. The man walks up to the front desk and gives the waiter his name. Ayame can't help herself when she strains her ears to hear the man's name over the restaurant's loud music. You'd think he'd have told her it by now, but maybe he was waiting for a good time? Who knows. But it was time she figured out what the initials 'J.U.' stood for.

"Good evening, sir. I booked a reservation for two under the name _Jushiro Ukitake_." He emphasizes the pronunciation of his name to make sure the waiter hears him correctly. Ayame feels her body freeze upon hearing the man's name. How could she have forgotten it? The sound of his name was like a gentle breeze. When she repeated it to herself it rolled off her tongue without hesitation or pause. It was natural and familiar. As she followed Ukitake and the waiter to their table, she continued to repeat it to herself.

"Jushiro Ukitake. _Jushiro_ Ukitake. Jushiro _Ukitake. _Jushiro? Ukitake? " Ayame wondered if she used to say his name a certain way, or if she usually called him by his last name or his first name. Also, would saying his name aloud jog any memories for her without his help? She hoped this exercise could put her a little ahead of the game, but stops when she feels his eyes on her. The waiter was also giving Ayame a strange look, but quickly snaps out of it and returns to his waiter duties. Once again Ayame sees that employee smile she knows all too well.

"I hope this table suits both your tastes. I will be your server this evening. May I start you off with drinks? " The waiter slips into his usual dialogue as the Ukitake pulls out Ayame's chair for her to sit. He then retreats to his side of the table. Ayame glances over the drink menu briefly but ends up just asking for water. Ukitake does the same and the waiter leaves to get their drinks.

Ayame's eyes quickly return to him and a few seconds of silence pass between them. He gives her a nervous smile and starts to talk but Ayame beats him to it.

"Jushiro Ukitake, huh? I like it. That name definitely suits you. It's a wonder I couldn't pick it up from your initials...it's such a familiar name! But I still can't remember what you prefer…should I call you Ukitake? Or Jushiro? Personally I like your first name but…."

Ukitake blinks a few times, a bit thrown off by Ayame's words. That wasn't what he was expecting her to say. He thought she would get right into the interrogation part( Ayame was always a rather intense woman). Furthermore...he hadn't really thought about what he wanted Ayame to call him. In the past she usually used his last name but….he kind of liked the way his first name sounded when she said it. So he decided.

"Jushiro is fine, at least by you. In the past you called me by my last name, like everyone else, but I guess….I always wanted you to call me by my first name." Ayame watches as a slight blush fills his cheeks. Then he suddenly blurts out, "I mean, since I always called you by _your _first name, that is!"

"Calm down, Jushiro! I just think it's important that we establish early on how we should address one another, regardless of how we did it in the past. I'm not a huge fan of my last name - that's why I have the brats around here call me Miss A instead of Miss Ikeda or Miss I. You can continue calling me by my first." Ayame watches Ukitake amusedly. He is interesting...even though it seemed he did her a great wrong, there was a certain innocence to him...something about him that was very pure. She couldn't imagine where this conversation was going to go.

They're both caught a little off guard when the waiter returns with their drinks, not noticing how absorbed they were in one another. They thank the waiter and tell him to return in a few minutes after they decide their meals. Ayame delays questioning Ukitake further so she can take her time looking over the diverse menu. It seems they were at an Italian restaurant, but the menu offered quite a few non-Italian dishes. She supposed not opting for the burger and fries and instead trying one of the other more difficult to pronounce dishes would be the more adult thing to do, but she couldn't keep her eyes away from her first option. She forced a concentrated look on her face, hoping that Ukitake would think that she was actually making an effort with the menu. She was soon interrupted.

"Ayame...you know you can order whatever you want, right? A burger and fries is perfectly respectable option, otherwise it wouldn't be on the menu." He gives an amused smile as Ayame narrows her eyes at him suspiciously.

* * *

random author's note: As anyone reading this can probably tell, I don't know a great deal about Japan. I'm American so even though this anime and thus this fanfiction take place in Japan, I'll probably explain most things in a very western way(if that makes sense). I promise to do my research where it counts, though. Sorry for the interruption!

* * *

"How'd you know what I was thinking about ordering?" After Ayame asks the question she realizes how foolish of her it was. Whether she could remember or not, this man knew her. He probably knew from the start what she was going to order. She answers for him. "You know, Jushiro? Nevermind. Don't answer that...I guess you do know me more than I'd like to admit. Which brings me to the reason we're here."

She hears him swallow loudly, but before he can begin the waiter returns to ask for their orders. Ayame gives Ukitake the signal to order for her and notes his request for the shrimp capellini. Now that she thinks about it, that dish _was _among the easier to pronounce. Furthermore, the ingredients weren't as foreign to her either...she should've gotten that dish instead! Darn….

"And I don't mind sharing if you have any regrets, Ayame." Ukitake says in a playful tone. Even though he was immensely nervous - and guilty - about feeding her all the lies he and Shunsui had conjured up the previous day, he couldn't suppress the pleasant feeling he got when he was with her. The simplest of actions became fascinating when performed by Ayame. Her reactions, whether they be happy, sad, angry or anything in between, were capable of swaying Ukitake in a way that other things never could.

Ayame gives the waiter a respectful nod, letting him know he was good to go, and faces Ukitake. After flashing an only slightly amused smile, she leans back in her chair and crosses her arms. It's time, she decided. She was ready for the truth, and it would distract her while she waited for her food( a double win).

"Okay, Jushiro. So tell me, what's our history? What were we to each other before...I forgot it all?"

Ukitake braces himself. He didn't want to lie, but this was for the better. The less she knew about the real truth, the less she'd remember and the safer she'd be. _Here goes everything _Ukitake thinks. He fixes his eyes on her and calms himself, making sure to not look like the liar he actually was.

"Ayame, the truth is...I'm your ex-fiancé."


	10. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Please excuse Ayame's behavior and language in this chapter...let's just say she was rather shocked : )**

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**Chapter 8**

Ayame nearly chokes on the water she was sipping on, ungracefully spilling droplets of all over her side of the table but somehow keeping the her dress dry. "Bullshit!" She screams out between her coughs. Ukitake's eyes widen in surprise at her reaction. She knew it was a very unlady like thing to scream out profanities in such a public, and rather fancy, setting, but she couldn't bring herself to believe the man's words. He was her _fiance_? Yeah right! How could she _forget_ her fiance? And furthermore, how could _he_ leave her lost and helpless(Ayame would never call herself helpless but she supposed that her predicament would appear pretty helpless to the rest of the world) for an entire month!

Once she's able to breath normally she continues. "Look, _Jushiro,_" she says his name maliciously. " That makes no sense, how could I _forget_ my own fiance?! And why did it take you a _whole month_ to find me?! And why did I end up HALF DEAD ON A RIVER BANK! Explain it all to me, _Jushiro!_"

He had not prepared himself for such an outburst. He knew his story - whether he told the truth or not - would upset Ayame, but forgot to take into account how...vocal she could be. But he deserved this shame...actually he deserved much worse. But he also had to follow through, he'd already gone too far.

"It was just over a month ago(_It was nearly a century ago)_..." He can't help but let the truth echo in his thoughts. "I...left you at the altar(_I left you to fend for district 81 on your own._) I was scared and nervous, it was all happening too fast. My family didn't really approve of our marriage, which only added to my nerves( _I was too weak to act against the Gotei 13. I betrayed you because I was scared...because I had no faith that anything else could work._) When you realized that I had...abandoned you, you took it upon yourself to abandon everyone. You disappeared without a word or trace. No one knew where you went. I didn't try to look for you because I was sure you'd never want to see me again.( _After it all went down, you decided that fleeing to the world of the living was the best option. When we parted, you told me you never wanted to see me again, so I tried for years to respect your decision. I had no right to act against it.)_"

Ukitake watches the torrent of emotions in Ayame's eyes. She looked like she was accepting the story...she still looked angry and upset, but such emotions were perfectly valid in the face of Ukitake's story. Finally she takes a deep breath and says, "So that is why you were so ashamed to face me...how could I have even thought about marrying a coward like you? I'm disappointed in my old self...but you're not done with our story, correct?" Ayame continues to look at him, her voice unwavering and strong. "Continue."

Ukitake couldn't stand lying so blatantly to Ayame, but it amazed him how she was keeping her cool.

"Yes...so as I said earlier, you disappeared. We had no idea of your whereabouts. I thought it'd be best to let you go...after all, a coward and traitor like me didn't deserve you. But I couldn't help myself. Eventually I did look for you. My family told me that it would be useless to file a missing persons report, since you announced at the altar that you were going to run away and never wanted to see me - or anyone invited to the wedding - ever again. So I didn't know where to start. I was aimless…"

"Then how did you find me?"

"It was by chance.( _And what an amazingly slim chance it was_) I'd been traveling from city to city, searching for you. Then suddenly I found you here, in Karakura Town...working at the supermarket. I didn't know what to do at first...so I just watched you. You looked so happy and content with your life...like you moved on( _Like the heavy burden of your past was lifted_ ). But I hadn't. Even though I hurt you so badly before, I couldn't live with the ache in my own heart after abandoning you. I..._needed_ you. So I chose the selfish route and forced myself back in...that time in the supermarket. And then it seemed you couldn't remember me, but I left a note anyways. A stupid, cheap note and stupid, cheap flowers..."

Ayame was still perfectly calm, even though Ukitake could feel himself breaking down. Was it the lies? Or the hidden truth behind them that were eating at him the most? He couldn't say…

"So...you weren't involved in the accident that made me lose my memories...you had nothing to do with it?" Ukitake nods. "It seems it was also by chance that I lost my memory...and the mystery behind the accident remains unsolved. I guess...I'll talk to Kisuke about it more instead of you. As for everything else…"

Ukitake's heart stops as he braces himself for her answer. He was certain she'd shun him once again, tell him to return from wherever he came from and never show his face to her again. Even if the fabricated story he told was not on the same scale as the real one, it still revealed his cowardice and betrayal. It still showed what kind of man he was. He lowers his head and looks at the tableware, unable to meet Ayame's eyes.

Before she can give her answer the waiter returns with their food. As he silently places their respective meals in front of them, he seems to have caught on to the heavy atmosphere and does his work swiftly. He gives a small smile to them both and asks if they need anything else, and when all he gets is a firm 'no' from Ayame he retreats.

Ukitake watches on as Ayame immediately begins eating. When a few minutes pass by, he concludes that she was either really hungry, or was using this time to think everything over and would give her response once she was done. He follows her lead and begins eating as well. The food was of high quality and quite delicious, but he could not bring himself to appreciate his meal. Not after the wrongs he did Ayame continued to pile up.

When he was only halfway through his meal he hears the loud screech of silverware against a plate and looks up to see that Ayame was completely finished. He's taken aback when she silently reaches for his plate and transfers half of its contents to her empty one, but doesn't resist.

"You said you'd share if I had regrets." She simply states in a dull voice, then wordlessly continues to eat. Ukitake blinks a few times, not sure what to do. Her behavior was strange( not the eating a lot in a short amount of time part, she was always a heavy eater). Ayame was being unusually unresponsive. So Ukitake returns to his plate to eat what remained, not that he had much of an appetite.

Suddenly he hears Ayame clear her throat and his head snaps in her direction. She had once again finished before him, and was now giving him a thoughtful look as she wiped her face and hands clean with a handkerchief. He was frozen in her gaze. Finally she sighs and speaks.

"So you say _your_ family didn't approve of us and you couldn't take the heat, huh? Well, what about _my_ family? What'd they think? And why didn't _they_ come after me?" She questions, but Ukitake could already see the doubt in her eyes. She knew what he was about to say...and this would probably be the hardest lie to deliver...because it was so close to the truth.

After a few moments of hesitation he responds."Your family didn't disapprove...and they didn't come after you because...you don't have one.( _Anyone you considered family was killed mercilessly by the members of the Gotei 13...and me._) You've been on your own since long before I met you...I am so sorry, Ayame."

Somewhere inside Ayame knew she was always on her own. It didn't shock her when those words left his mouth...they hurt, but she was prepared. At least she knew she wasn't worrying anyone back at home. Well, not anyone except…

"So you abandoned someone who was already utterly alone...what kind of man _are_ you?" She laughs humorlessly." No wonder I ran away from you! How did I ever fall in love with someone like you…?" She trails off, getting lost in her thoughts again. Ukitake winces at Ayame's words but doesn't protest. He had nothing else to say...this story was as close to the truth as he could make it. It was up to her whether she'd accept him again or not, but he was prepared for the worst. He jumps when Ayame suddenly continues.

"Right...how did I fall in love with someone like you...Not only were you a coward, you were a traitor. You betrayed me and left me alone, and somehow I ended up like this. You knew that the day you faced me again, I'd lash out at you and hate you. You knew that the chances of me accepting you were slim...but you tried anyways. Like I said, you _were_ a coward."

Ukitake was having trouble understanding her words. She hadn't really revealed whether she him accepted or not...and kept saying that he _was_ a coward...but what about now? What did she think of him _now_? He didn't have to wonder for long.

"It probably took a lot of nerve for you to show your face to me again. It was pretty cheap of you to take advantage of me not remembering anything but overall….also pretty brave. You faced me head on, and I sense honesty and sincerity in you. You truly feel awful for what you did - and you _should_ \- but still...you came back to me."

Ukitake couldn't follow her train of thought. It almost sounded like she was forgiving him, but that couldn't be right. He didn't deserve her forgiveness, and Ayame wasn't the type of woman to easily give it. Could this really be the same Ayame from those years ago? It had to be! Then why….?

"Look, I'm not saying I forgive you. I don't. You are awful for leaving a woman at the altar, and weak for not standing up for someone you love." Those words hit Ukitake dead center. "But I don't hate you...because despite how much you _knew_ you didn't deserve my forgiveness, you came back. If I were to recall this story and your sorry butt still hadn't shown yourself, then yes, I'd probably hate you. But you got to me first."

Ukitake makes several incoherent sounds before he can find the words he was looking for. Disbelief in its purest form plagued his features. "B-but why…? You have every reason to hate me! My very existence should make you sick! You-"

Ayame cuts him off. "Stop it, Jushiro. I do have every reason to hate you and the sight of you _does_ make me sick….and a lot of other things too. I'm not saying I'll take you back as a fiance or even a friend, but you were obviously someone important to me or I wouldn't feel this way. Besides...I sort of need you to help me pick up the pieces of my old life again. You know, you're pretty lucky I lost my memories." She gives him a weary smile.

It was odd hearing this phrase from Ayame herself, but he supposed it was true. Even if she were to just use him to try to pick up the fabricated pieces of her old life, it was a position he was far from deserving. But he'd take it, because he was weak. He didn't have the strength to pull away from her like he should have...And even after all the lying, deception and betrayal, he couldn't fight back the happiness and relief that were inching their way into his emotions.

Ayame had accepted his fake story. She was allowing him back in her life, even if just as a tool.

Later that evening

After they were done at the restaurant - which Ukitake gladly paid for - they decided to take a walk around Karakura Town while Ayame threw question after question at Ukitake. She was determined to find out more about her past. He owed her that much.

Apparently they had met in a rather unlikely setting. In the past, Ayame had lived in a rural area of Japan. She knew little about the world outside her fields and limited home, but often ran into city dwellers who visited to get a taste of nature( she supposed ). Ukitake was one such city dweller, and they had met by chance. He became a regular visitor until one day he asked her to join him. She agreed and they'd been inseparable ever since.

She guessed the story made sense. There had to be a reason that everything seemed so foreign to her. There was a certain discomfort she had with the customs of the world around her that she felt didn't stem solely from her losing her memories.

Ukitake seemed a bit more reluctant to share about his past, but eventually opened up. He apparently was a self-made successful investor. Well, successful enough to fully support himself and his many eccentric hobbies. Okay, they weren't _that_ eccentric. Most of them were just sickeningly sweet, like spending time with his siblings, donating presents to needy children, drinking tea, growing bonsai, traveling...rather harmless ones. The ones that _did_ stand out to Ayame were his kendo and martial arts hobbies. Ayame couldn't imagine such a gentle man enjoying fighting...but he did have a certain strength and gracefulness to him.

She didn't realize how late it was getting until they stopped at an empty park near her apartment and she felt a bone-chilling breeze eat at her exposed arms and legs. Ukitake kept offering his jacket to her but she pridefully denied being cold. When he offered this time though, she took it, but told herself that it was because she wanted to see _him_ shiver and not because she was shivering herself.

"So it seems like we have a pretty rich history, huh? You just had to go and ruin it…" She says with mock disappointment, but Ukitake could sense the truth in her words. She was pretending to take it all in lightly, but there was no way this incredible story wasn't affecting her. Ukitake had no response. He was amazed at how well the lies slipped out once he started, how easy it was to bend their real history to the standards of the world of the living, but hoped he wouldn't have to continue for much longer.

Suddenly Ayame turned to face him, an unreadable look in her eyes. " You probably think you don't deserve this, but thank you, Jushiro. You did me wrong, you abandoned me. But then you came back...you let me know that I did once have a home...and it was you. Thank you." Ukitake was further thrown off guard when she suddenly embraces him, clinging on to him like her life depended on it. He confusedly returns it and strains to hear the rest of her words through her sobs.

"I want to hate you, I really do, but I can't see myself doing that. I just...feel so happy that I'm not some blank slate! I'm person with a history...with an origin. Thank you, Jushiro." Finally she pulls back and looks up to him, a strange mixture of sadness and relief in her eyes. As one final tear makes it way down her face, she leans forward and places an innocent kiss on his cheek. Then she steps back and shamelessly uses his jacket sleeves to clean her face.

This night couldn't get any stranger. It was like history was repeating itself, only now in his favor. Once again Ayame was in his arms, sobbing, and placed a kiss on his cheek. Only this time, instead of declaring that she never wanted to see him again...she _thanked_ him. Ukitake wasn't sure what to feel...should he be happy? Or she he feel even more guilty? He wasn't sure… Before he can sort himself out she continues.

"I guess I'll be heading home now. You should get back to wherever it is you're living now, too. I guess you already know where I live...but it'll give me some peace of mind to walk these last few blocks alone, kay? I...hope to see you around." She hands him back his jacket and before he can refuse it, she sprints off. Ukitake would have went after her, but they were quite close to her apartment and he couldn't sense anyone - or any_thing_ \- in their vicinity. He sighs and questions himself while turning around to find a more secluded area to open up a senkai gate."What have I gotten myself into…?"

He didn't expect a response, especially since he'd already taken note of the lack of people or spirits in his current vicinity, but he certainly got one.

"I agree. What _have _you gotten yourself into?" Although the voice came from behind him, there was no mistaking its familiar, slightly mocking, slightly sarcastic, and ever mysterious tone. Slowly turning around, he feels the blood drain from his face when his eyes land on a disheveled man in a striped hat.

"It's been a while, Captain Ukitake."


	11. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: Thank you to anyone who's made it this far, and to those who've followed/favorited! I'm not a writer by any means and this is probably the longest story I've ever done so thanks for sticking with it :)**

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**Chapter 9**

"Indeed it has, Kisuke Urahara." Ukitake finally finds his voice after several seconds of deafening silence passes between them. "Has...everything been well?"

"You and I both know that I didn't come here to exchange pleasantries, Ukitake." Kisuke responds. Ukitake knew it was stupid to try to converse casually with the former captain, but he always had trouble reading the mysterious man( as a side note,everyone has trouble reading Kisuke). He guessed that Kisuke wasn't very happy about his recent interactions with Ayame, however.

"I apologize for giving that impression, Kisuke. But if not that...then what is it you wish to speak about?" Ukitake asks with honest curiosity. He watches as Kisuke hesitates before answering, a strange look clouding his eyes.

"I...want her to be happy. Happy and safe, Ukitake. I know about everything, about your past with her. About district 81." He finally says. Ukitake tries to hide his surprise at the man's words. Yet another unlikely character who showed some sense of protection over Ayame.

"I see." Ukitake responds. "So then you must know how I feel about her….and how I feel about our past. Surely you understand that I mean no harm. I am ashamed at my weakness…I know I don't deserve her. I know this is wrong...but I-" Ukitake shocks himself with how honest he's being with the exiled captain. "I _need_ her, Kisuke. I want her to be happy and safe, too. But I just couldn't stay away…" When he's finished, he hears a loud sigh from Kisuke. That wasn't quite the response he was expecting.

"Look, Ukitake….I have no right to force you to stop seeing her. Not after...what _I_ did to her too. You seem to have caught on to her lack of memory, yes?" Ukitake nods as a frown settles on his face. He wasn't really sure where this was going. "Well...it's a bit of a long story, but regrettably that was my doing. It wasn't on purpose, but I am still at fault." Ukitake was having trouble keeping up with Kisuke. _He_ was at fault for Ayame's lost memories? How? And did this mean he also had something to do with her disappearing for 80 years?

"I don't understand." Ukitake admits. "How are you at fault for her lost memories? And...do you know why she didn't reappear until recently?" He questions him, trying to suppress his accusing tone.

Another sigh."Perhaps we should discuss this in a more private setting, if you aren't in any hurry. You're more than welcome to open your senkai gate in my underground training room once we're finished." He offers, and Ukitake takes it, trying his best to hide his confusion at the mention of Kisuke's "secret underground training room." He knew the man had eccentric tastes, but this was...interesting. Furthermore, in what way was he involved in Ayame losing her memories? Could Ayame trust no one in this world?

Ukitake reluctantly follows the mysterious man back to his "candy" shop and, after a brief reunion with Tessai, is lead into a giant, underground room with massive, skyblue walls. Once inside, it was hard to believe that one was underground. It was as if another world existed beneath Kisuke's small shop.

"This is quite impressive." Ukitake mutters, sweeping the large room with wide eyes.

"Thank you, but I didn't bring you down here to show off. Please sit, I have quite a lot to tell you." Ukitake hadn't noticed the small table just to their left that already had two cups of steaming tea resting on it. He gives Kisuke a small nod and takes a seat across from him.

"So, what compelled this invitation?" Ukitake begins after taking a sip of the tea. He waits patiently while Kisuke takes a long,drawn out sip from his cup, almost like he was stalling.

"Ahhh...how refreshing! Now where were we….?" He trails off like he's actually forgotten the reason they were there. Ukitake couldn't decide if he appreciated Kisuke's playful nature or found it irritating. Luckily for them both, he was a patient man.

"Right! We're here to talk about Miss Ayame." His tone becomes serious. "I am the one who caused her to lose her memories, when I purposely gave her an experimental gigai." Ukitake stiffens. "That night, eighty years ago, I...saw that she was desperate. And well, so was I." Kisuke goes on about how he needed to test the capacity of his experimental gigai by allowing a spiritual body with an incredibly high spirit energy fuse with it, and Ayame couldn't have been a more perfect fit. Then things didn't quite go according to plan….and the unsuspecting female captain immediately fell into what seemed for so long like an irreversible coma.

Ukitake listens with an unreadable expression as Kisuke gives every detail. He talks about how he couldn't figure out how to wake Ayame up, about how he eventually gave up, and about how he came so close to getting rid of Ayame's nearly dead body until that fateful day. Ukitake was….angry. He wanted to lash out at the man. Not only had he deceived Ukitake's own subordinate when he gave her a gigai implanted with the dangerous hogyoku, he'd even deceived the woman he loved! He used her and was attempting to ease his guilt by looking out for her now that she'd woken up. He truly had done her wrong…

But so had Ukitake. His actions were a thousand times worse than Kisuke's. Ukitake was supposed to be someone who loved Ayame, yet he betrayed her. He...aided in the destruction of her home. Kisuke, on the other hand, had no previous relationship with Ayame...Ukitake didn't really have a right to lash out at Kisuke. So he didn't.

Kisuke continues. "So you see, Ukitake, although I am doing my best now to keep her safe and happy, I have no right to stop you from seeing her. Hell, I shouldn't have even shown myself to _you_ after all I've done, but I'm so-" Ukitake cuts him off.

"We are both selfish men, Kisuke. You...couldn't live with your guilt, so you're doing what you can to ease your own pain. And I couldn't stay away from Ayame because, even after all I've done, I loved her too much to keep my distance. I am angry with you...but more angry with myself. So please, do not apologize. Besides," Ukitake pauses for a moment. "I am not the one that you should be saying sorry to."

"You and I both know that there's no way that I can apologize directly to Ayame...not if we want to keep her happy. She can't know the truth about herself. So I'll give these words to you instead." Ukitake watches in surprise as Kisuke removes his hat and gets on one knee, apologizing anyways. "I am sorry."

Ukitake regrets that he had not taken a similar route when he spouted his fake story to Ayame about leaving her at the altar. He was sure that it wouldn't have changed the outcome in any way, but Ayame definitely deserved this humble gesture much more than he did.

"Please raise your head, Kisuke. I do not deserve this image of you. And...apologies won't change anything we've done." After a few seconds Kisuke listens and returns his green striped hat to his messy blonde head. Then he responds.

"You're right, but that doesn't mean we should skip over them completely. I guess that leaves us with the most important question: What do we do now?" And with that the two men sit in silence for the next few seconds, both in deep thought. Ukitake knew he wanted to continue seeing Ayame, but what did Kisuke think of the matter? He said he had no right to interfere...but that didn't mean he didn't have an opinion. Ukitake finally breaks the quiet.

"I love her, Kisuke. She's lost her memories...and I've told her a different story that she's accepted. I don't think she'll go searching beyond that, so she should be safe. I know I shouldn't, but I want to keep seeing her." He declares firmly. Kisuke sighs.

"I know, and I get it. Like I said, I'm not going to stop you. But I do have a few..._warnings._" He says ominously. Ukitake narrows his eyes as the mysterious man continues. " I know I don't need to tell you about Aizen and his evildoings...it's common knowledge among soul reapers that he's bound to strike any time soon. Neither the soul society nor the world of the living is safe from that, but…" He trails off, Ukitake nervously waiting for him to finish. He knew it was wrong of him to leave the soul society a captain short, but he could at least justify himself by saying he was keeping the woman he loved safe in exchange.

"How should I put this? Ayame isn't as safe as you think she is with you around. I've been keeping an eye on her, and while this is just a hypothesis, the likelihood is pretty high. I told you earlier that being exposed to incredibly strong bursts of spiritual energy are what woke Ayame up, right? Well...even though her spirit energy is still almost nonexistent it _has_ steadily increased since the day she awakened...and I'm pretty sure it's because she constantly associates herself with humans and spirit beings with high energies like me,Tessai, Ichigo and now _you_."

"And that means, eventually, her powers will return. Why is that dangerous?" Ukitake asks. Ayame was one of the most powerful captains he'd ever seen. Wouldn't her powers returning make her safer? Then it all clicked, but he still lets Kisuke explain it to him. It gave him more time to think about how they should deal with the situation.

"Well, her powers will return _slowly_. Slowly enough that she will draw the attention of hollows, but not yet be strong enough to defeat them. She will start to see spirits but not remember what they are...as long as she stays around us she _will_ be thrown back into this world regardless of what we tell her. And another thing," Kisuke pauses dramatically. "I have a strong feeling that her amnesia, however it was induced, will cure itself as her spiritual powers return. Our lies won't last long, Ukitake."

As if this night hadn't been long enough, this news is thrown on him. Eventually, he _and_ Kisuke would be exposed for the frauds they were. Even before that happened, a poor, powerless Ayame would be thrown into the terrifying spiritual world head first. The only way to prevent this would be for him, Kisuke and essentially everyone in Ayame's current circle to distance themselves from her completely, leaving her utterly alone yet again.

"So then what, should we just abandon her? Or should we knock her out again, and let her wake up in some place far away in hopes that she _never_ remembers or tries to look for us?! Is that what you're telling me, Kisuke? To leave her again!" Ukitake shocks himself with his anger, but knows it wasn't really directed at Kisuke. He was angry with himself, and his situation. Was there really no way out for the former female captain? And was a life with her...truly not meant to be?

"That is not what I'm saying. What you do is your decision alone...I just want you to know what awaits you. Besides, there's no way I could do that to Miss Ayame...Not after everything I've already done to her. And I've grown to love her too-" Kisuke cuts himself off when Ukitake gives him a look no one probably thought possible of the usually calm and gentle captain. At that moment, Kisuke could almost say the white haired man frightened him. He quickly clarifies. "As a _friend_! I've grown to love her as a friend, and I don't want to part with her either."

Ukitake calms down once Kisuke finishes. He liked that quite a few people seemed to look out for the former female captain, but couldn't stand the idea of her being loved - in _that _way - by another man. He'd never call himself possessive or jealous, but between him and Kisuke, Ayame was definitely _his_. He'd never say this aloud, though. He had no right, and Ayame didn't "belong" to anyone.

"Then where does this leave us?" Ukitake finally asks. Kisuke gives a goofy smile, offsetting the heavy atmosphere.

"Wherever we were before! You are free to do what you want, but I'm going to look out for Ayame as long as she'll let me. When she starts seeing spirits, I'll help her. When she starts getting chased by hollows, I'll protect her. When she finally remembers...I'll let _her_ decide what she wants. This is really all we can do for her…" Ukitake can't help but find these words uncharacteristic of the exiled captain, but is inspired by them nonetheless.

He too would look after Ayame for as long as she'd let him. Part of it was his own selfish desires, he'd admit, but he also owed her this much. He should protect when he can, and keep her days as happy as possible until the inevitable.

"I suppose...you are right. She deserves happiness and security, and that is the least we can give her. I appreciate you being honest with me, Kisuke. Thank you." He says sincerely.

"Please, do not thank me. I am in no way deserving of your gratitude." He answers, that familiar guilt clouding his features. "Well, if we're finished here, feel free to open up your senkai gate whenever you're ready to go. You, after all, have a soul society to get back to! Not to sound like I'm rushing you of course." Kisuke says as he collects their now empty cups.

Ukitake stands and gives the former captain one last, respectful nod before turning away to open a gate back to the soul society. Kisuke watches his figure as he steps through that familiar white light. He sighs once again, his life's most impactful decisions flashing in front of his eyes. Each day he was bombarded with their consequences, but it wasn't often that he regretted them. He wasn't the kind of man to constantly dwell on the past. The only times he was hit the hardest was when he watched the way others passed so freely between the two worlds...and when he saw Ayame.

He only hoped he and Ukitake were making the right choice. He was sure they weren't, they were both behaving selfishly. But at least Ayame's happiness was something they both wanted.


	12. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

After rushing back to her apartment and fighting against every instinct to look back at the white haired man, Ayame sighs loudly and flops down face first onto her bed. It had been a long day, and it didn't help that she'd been running on three and a half hours of sleep. It would have been hard enough with just her time at the mall with Kei! But then _he_ had to show up...and lay all that heavy news on her.

"That damn Jushiro...who the hell does something like that? And me….was I really some lonely farm girl?" And so her personal dialogue began. She held it together in front of Ukitake, but had to flee at the last moment...because it had all been too much. She wasn't lying when she thanked him. She wanted to know about her past...and she already had a strong feeling it wasn't the greatest.

It sucked that the man who claimed to love her - who'd asked for her hand in marriage - just left her like that. Then he suddenly shows up with puppy dog eyes and a million apologies and expects what? What was he going for? And what was she going to do? She'd already told him she hoped to see him around. And she wasn't lying either...she _did_ want to see him again. But she shouldn't.

Was he _really_ her fiance? Had they really been _romantically_ involved? It's just...Ayame got the sense that she had never really been in a romantic relationship with anyone. Especially with that Jushiro guy. Not that she wasn't attracted to him or anything(Ayame wouldn't say this aloud), just, well, she felt that their relationship hadn't made that leap yet...but they were supposed to be _engaged_.

What did she know, anyways? She was an amnesiac...everything she was thinking now was based off a feeling with no solid ground. Then again, what solid evidence did that Jushiro guy have? But he seemed so honest! His heartbreak and shame were real, Ayame knew it. And how she felt around him, like she already knew him and could trust him. Those feelings were just as real as her current doubt.

Could it be that he was hiding something from her? Maybe that wasn't all there was to the story. He only told as much as he could...to protect her, maybe? But from what? And Ayame didn't need protecting! She is a perfectly capable adult( who can't shop on her own...or cook). If he thought the truth was too much for her to handle, he had another thing coming. It would hurt her more if she found out he was lying.

Maybe she should have asked for his number or something, so she could confront him again. Have a follow up interrogation or something..._he_ knew where she lived and worked, after all. Why didn't she ask him for that information? Now it was completely up to him whether they'd meet each other again or not…

Actually, Ayame knew why she didn't ask him. She didn't want to lead him on...to give him hope that they could go back to the way they were. That she was even interested in rekindling something with him. There was a certain lack she'd felt since her reawakening( she guesses she'll call it) that the man seemed to help fill, but there was no way she could take him back. Not if that story he gave was even remotely true.

But she needed him. She wanted to know more about her life and, admittedly, more about _him_. Ayame could tell he was only being as informative as he needed to be, never giving more than was necessary.

"Damn it! I should have asked for his number!" Ayame could only imagine how she looked and sounded at the moment, throwing a tantrum in her bed and screaming into her pillow. "Whatever…" She was confident he'd show himself again. She would just have to wait, and although patience was not her forte, she could do it if she had to.

With that, she lifts herself from her bed and moves to her drawers to pick out her pjs for the night. After carefully removing the dress and hanging it in her still empty closet, she makes her way to the bathroom for a shower." I guess I'll have to ask Kei for the clothes she bought tomorrow after work…" She continues to think out loud all the way up until her head hits the pillow. It doesn't take long for her to fall asleep.

And many, many beautiful hours later….

_Knock knock KNOCK!_

The loud sound of someone pounding at the door wakes Ayame up from a deep, peaceful sleep. Eyes still closed, she forces herself to sit up and sluggishly makes her way towards the front door. She finally cracks them open before nearly pulling the door off its hinges to face her assaulter.

"Who the hell is knocking on my door so loud this early in the morning!" She yells, angered to have been disturbed from such wonderful sleep.

"Uh...Miss A? It's two in the afternoon...but sorry to wake you! I just wanted to deliver the clothes I bought for you yesterday." The sound of Kei's bright and cheery voice immediately dissolves Ayame's grogginess. That, and the fact that the teen announced that it was already two in the afternoon!

Ayame's eyes finally open fully and she shakes her head in surprise. "What? Two in the afternoon...I slept for over twelve hours! Thank God I have the late shift at work today...uhm well thanks, Kei. I'll take these off your hands." She says, reaching for the bags.

"No worries! I can take them in for you, Miss A. I don't think I've ever seen the inside of your apartment before." She says, slipping past Ayame and ignoring her protests. "Wow it's so tiny! But cozy though.. " She quickly adds in.

_Oh please, come in._ Ayame thinks sarcastically after closing the door behind her. "Well, as you've already noted, there isn't really much to see. I have most of what I need here anyways, except those clothes we bought yesterday, so thanks for dropping them off-" Ayame is cut off by Kei's sudden scream.

"Ahhhh! Miss A, these flowers are absolutely _gorgeous_! They're totally from that fancy flower place a few blocks from us, huh? Les Fleurs?" Ayame follows the teens gaze to the bouquet Ukitake had bought her a few days prior. Somehow, even in the haphazard way Ayame had set them in a random vase in her kitchen, they hadn't lost any of their beauty.

Whilst yawning, she answers nonchalantly. "Uh...I dunno. I guess. I knew they didn't come from _our_ store-"

"Omg _he_ bought you those, huh? You're so official now...I bet your date last night went wonderfully! I knew it was a good idea to leave you with hi-" Ayame cuts her off, suddenly remembering the teen's actions.

"Oi! That's right, you took off on me without a word! Do you know how irresponsible that was?! Do you know how _worried_ I was!? I almost killed Jushiro because of you, Kei! I…" She was trembling with anger now, recalling the panic she felt when she thought the clueless teen was in danger.

"Oh my...Miss A...I'm so sorry! I didn't know you were that worried...I was just thinking about how much fun you'd have with that white haired guy, Jushiro's his name? How fitting!" Kei responds, not a shred of guilt in her voice. Ayame sighs, giving up scolding Kei. She was in front of her, and safe. That was all she needed. _I guess I can trust Jushiro, then._

"I guess it is a fitting name, huh? And jeez do you even feel a little guilty about making me worry? Whatever, you can put the bags over there." Ayame points towards her tiny closet.

"Yeah yeah, I said I'm sorry Miss A. And shouldn't you trust your boyfriend anyways…?" Kei questions as she puts down the bags of clothes. Ayame goes to the kitchen to pour them some drinks - she knew how to be hospitable, she just didn't like it - and lingers on Kei's last question. First, he _wasn't _her boyfriend. Not anymore at least. Second, she didn't really trust him. How could she…?

"Jushiro is _not_ my boyfriend...but you're right. I at least know that he wouldn't hurt you." She chooses her words carefully as she returns with two glasses of water. After placing them on the table, she takes a seat across from the teen. Ayame decided that she wasn't going to tell Kei everything. Her current situation was too complicated. Furthermore, Kei had a big mouth, and Ayame liked to keep her problems to herself.

"I am more than happy to accommodate you, but shouldn't you be in school or something? It's not even three yet.." Ayame narrows her eyes at the teen before taking a sip from her cup. First she willingly plots with the enemy(aka Jushiro Ukitake) and now she's skipping school? Ayame could only imagine the hell she'd get from her parents if the teen started acting out in her presence.

"I got out early today! I'm not some delinquent, Miss A. I thought I could use this extra time to deliver these bags to you, maybe hang out a bit and, I don't know, talk about your date before walking to work together?" The teen says with too much enthusiasm, batting her eyelashes innocently. Ayame sighs. She had _some_ time till she needed to get ready for work.

"Okay sure, I guess. But first, are you hungry or anything? I think I have some Bisuko in the kitchen…" _If I didn't eat them all_ she thinks to herself while waiting for Kei to answer.

"No that's okay. I'm not hungry for food, I'm hungry for details! Quit stalling and spill! How'd the date go…? Was he romantic? Was there a _kiss_? Don't hold out on me Miss A!" Kei exclaims, unusually intense. Despite her complicated feelings towards the man, Ayame can't help the blush that forms at the thought of kissing him.

"Fine, whatever. The dinner was...nice. It tasted good, and actually filled me up, which was a definite plus." Ayame knew she was a big eater, and wasn't ashamed of it. And both her and Jushiro's main dishes were fantastic. "We mostly just caught up. We have a pretty rich past together….a lot has happened between us. But don't get any ideas, Kei! Nothing romantic is happening between us." _Well, I guess not anymore._ She finishes in her head.

"Wow, really? That's it? And just how 'rich' can your past be, you knew each other as _children, _right? Was he your childhood bully or something? And he, like, finally returned to make amends?" Kei laughs at her joke. Ayame's eyebrow twitches in annoyance. She was about to respond but Kei beats her to it.

"Actually, you're more the bully type, Miss A! That man seems way too nice to have bullied someone, haha! I bet you ruled the playground as a kid...Well, whatever past you have, you guys definitely have chemistry now. You should keep seeing him." Ayame blinks a few times, staring at Kei. She wasn't really sure what to say. They were engaged after all….they had more than chemistry. They were in love….right?

"Yeah maybe…."Ayame foolishly concedes and immediately regrets her slip. Her eyes lock on Kei's, and the teen holds it for a few seconds. Ayame is amazed when she isn't bombarded with a million questions, or has her ears blown off by Kei's loud voice. No. Instead, she gets a small smile and a soft sigh.

"You know Miss A….you should probably start getting ready for work. You're still in your pjs and we have a half-hour walk ahead of us. Mind if I do some homework at your table while I wait for you?" Ayame nods in disbelief and watches her pull a textbook out of her backpack. Only when Kei clears her throat and points to the closet does Ayame finally snap out of it.

"Oh my bad! I'll be ready soon." She exclaims and runs to get ready. As she does so, she shakes her head, wondering why Kei was acting so...un-Kei like. And herself...had Ayame actually admitted that she might want to...rekindle something with the man? No! But she did want to keep seeing him. She had more questions.

"Okay, Kei. I'm ready whenever you are...you can just leave your cup there, by the way. I'll pick it up when I get home later." Ayame wasn't a slob, but she wasn't a neat freak either. Kei looks up to her and smiles when she sees the outfit Ayame had on.

"Wow that looks as good on you as I thought it would!" Kei exclaims, sounding more like her usual self. "I bet he'll like it too." She tacks on more quietly. Ayame sighs, a little relieved that the old Kei was back.

"Sounds like you were doubting yourself a little, Kei." Ayame teases as she locks the door after her. They begin their walk to work with light conversation, Kei defending her fashion abilities with a series of anecdotes. Ayame listens on in amusement.

Their conversation finally teeters out into a comfortable silence as they walk the streets. The sky was giving off a pinkish-orange light, the sun taking its time to sink behind the horizon. A gentle breeze rustled through their hair and clothing while the laughter of children happy to be free from school floated through the air. It was such a peaceful time of day...Ayame always loved it. She usually prefered to walk it alone, but Kei was acting strangely today. She was actually being quiet enough for Ayame to enjoy the peace. Surprisingly, Ayame found she didn't like it.

Ayame lets her eyes wander over to the teen. She looked...distant. Her eyes were unfocused, darting from side to side nervously. Her shoulders were tense. Ayame was going to try to say something to her, but then Kei suddenly stops.

Ayame turns around to face the teen, worried for her. "Kei, what's wrong? Are you okay?" She asks, rushing to her. Kei doesn't respond, she just continues to stare straight ahead. She looked like a deer in headlights...if her eyes were open any wider they'd probably have fallen out!

"Kei! Please, tell me what's wrong! And what are you looking at!?" Ayame demands and gives Kei a gentle shake. Still no response. "Kei…" Ayame had never seen her like this. She thought Kei only had one mood, and that was sickeningly happy. Right now she looked terrified. When she finally accepts that words won't work, she follows Kei's line of sight in hopes to see whatever was scaring her so much. She was looking slightly upwards at a distant point in the sky.

Even after squinting and straining, Ayame saw nothing. Just what the heck was going on with Kei? There was nothing there! She gives up trying to see and returns to the teen. "Kei, snap out of it! There isn't anything there...Please, you're making me worried!" Ayame pleads. Maybe she was having a panic attack? What do you do when people have panic attacks? Ayame couldn't remember. Suddenly Kei speaks, but her eyes never leave the sky.

"Why does no one else ever see them….why is it always just _me_…?" If she hadn't been standing right next to her, Ayame would not have heard her. Kei's voice comes out as no more than a whisper. Ayame was sure nothing was there, but the pure fear in Kei's voice revealed just how much _she_ believed something was there. So after giving Kei's shoulder a gentle squeeze, she looks again. This time she nearly gasps.

It was faint, almost invisible. In fact, if Kei hadn't been staring in fear at the area for the last three minutes Ayame would probably just write it off as a trick of the light. She only saw it for a moment but could immediately understand why Kei was so terrified...it was the hulking, misshapen outline of God knows what. All Ayame could see was the way the atmosphere seemed to tremble as whatever it was moved, so she couldn't give any details about it other than that it was massive. Ayame blinks a few times and tries to squint harder but the image disappears. She turns to Kei.

"Wow...I think I saw it. Kei, what the hell _was_ _that_?!" She exclaims, starting to reflect some of the fear she saw in the teen earlier. She's further taken aback at the teen's response.

"What was what, Miss A? Stop acting weird! Let's hurry up and get to work or we'll be late!" Kei's voice returns to its usual cheery tone and she looks as happy as ever, smiles, dimples and all. What was going on? She was so fear-struck just seconds ago.

"I'm saying I think I saw whatever scared you so much, Kei. It wasn't very clear bu-" Kei interrupts her.

"Look, Miss A, I have no idea what you're talking about. I already said that we should hurry up and get to work or we'll be late. Maybe you don't care, but I don't wanna mess up my streak. I'm going." The teen announces, an aggressive tinge to her voice that Ayame was not used to. She just watches confusedly as Kei almost sprints away. What the...she was the one who pointed it - whatever "it" was - out in the first place!

Ayame glances at the spot in the sky one last time, but sees nothing. Maybe it _was _ just a trick of the light, and Kei was embarrassed because she freaked out about it unnecessarily...but still. Her fear was so genuine! Ayame shrugs and reluctantly follows after her. The teen was still shaken...Ayame would talk to her about it later. Besides, she had enough going on herself anyways. Was she really in any position to give a potentially hallucinating, paranoid teenager advice?

Probably not.


End file.
